Rep. Chip Roy on Birthright Citizenship
This event, as envisioned by the Texas Congressperson, would be a gynecological occurrence of extraordinary magnitude. Just the logistics of it should cause the average, anti-communist American to tremble with trepidation. Twenty million Communist moms, in their last week of pregnancy, flooding through American airports, clutching their baby bumps, eating every pint of Ben and Jerry’s they can get their socialist hands on, cramming themselves into American ambulances on their way to American maternity wards, in the throes of Communist labor pains, all planning to pop a little Marxist into being on American soil.
Even non-Chinese Communist foreigners should object to this. Where are they going to have their anchor babies, if twenty million Marxist-Leninist mothers are taking up all the birthing rooms in our country? Haitian and Somali moms, eager to deliver their little kitten-eaters and Sharia lawyers, would be forced onto park benches and back alleys.
Representative Roy is counting on his grasp of the science of genetics to make his point. Can a Communist mother give birth to a non-communist baby? No. The Chinese Communist gene is dominant. Every Communist mother has to give birth to a Communist child. These babies will not grow up to be regular American guys, drinking and arguing with each other in sports bars. Each of them will be a heartless Marxist, dedicated to the dictatorship of the proletariat and free child care.
Now, some scientists think Marxist DNA is not 100% dominant. If only one parent has the Commie chromosome, the child may grow up to be a Social Democrat. This is what happened in New York City with that Occasionally Cortez person, or the mayor guy, who is a godless Muslim.
Oddly enough though, while Roy is dead solid certain about where Communist babies come from, he is not clear on where gay babies come from. But, it’s certainly not immutable genetics. The congressman believes that being gay is a choice, although he will allow you to blame your upbringing. Say your mom could beat your dad at arm wrestling, or your parents didn’t buy you enough ammunition for your guns when you were a boy, or they just let you listen to too much Abba. So, it could be their fault.
In any case, unlike a Communist child, who is fated by birth to undermine America, you as a gay person, should do something about your gayness, like praying for it to disappear, or find a person of the opposite sex to be miserable with together.
Either way, just pack your flags and your collections of show tunes back in the closet where they belong. It’s the Commies who ought to be humming “Born This Way” as they smash the state.
That’s just science.









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