The Orange Oligarch, having successfully deported an innocent dad in what even he freely admitted was an error, and having told the Supremes “neener, neener, neener,” when the Nine ordered him to bring him back, is now keen on deporting Americans whom he thinks deserve it to tiger cages in the tropics.
“That’s a lot of people,” you might say to yourself. “El Salvador isn’t even as big as New Jersey. Where are they going to put them all?”
Nobody in the White House has an answer for that, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t plans. El Salvador is willing to tear out as many banana trees, coffee plantations, and blow up as many giant sacred Olmec heads as the US needs, to build prisons for unruly Americans. So says that mini-nation’s President, Nayib Bukele, who likes to call himself “the cool dictator.”
Nobody in El Salvador points out that this is like referring to yourself as “the sweetheart serial killer,” or “the most humorous mass murderer.” Nobody does this because Bukele’s crew will pour Drano down your throat so they don’t have to listen to you scream while they tear out your fingernails if you say that. Instead, El Salvadorians are forced to remark upon the stylishness of Bukele’s clothes and the general jauntiness of his regime as his paramilitary buds machine-gun their relatives in the jungle.
Naturally, the Bloated Bloviator admires Bukele for this, because the list of people who he’d like to torture gets longer every day, from Liz Cheney on down to Elon Musk’s transgendered kid. Sure, he says he’s only going to exile American citizens who are real criminals, “the worst of the baddest, the real baseball-bat bouncing old woman head hitters, the subway criminal scum nasties.”
Or something like that. The man ought to stick to merely torturing syntax.
Just don’t think he’s going to stop with the January 6th committee or CBS or Harvard when he gets his deporting game on. The Tangerine Drama Queen proposed the greatest deportation in history while running for office and hasn’t come close to doing that. Just rounding up a few hundred people with tattoos and shoving them onto airplanes to foreign death camps is all he’s managed, which hardly comes close to what he promised his voters, which was getting rid of enough Hispanics that Walmart smiley faces will no longer need to be bilingual, and pushing out enough Muslims, or people who look like they might be Muslims, that you will no longer have to deal with Middle Easterners who call you “boss” when you go to a 7-11.
If you complain about that, though, he’s got a ticket for you to Central America. If you criticize the mealy old farter about anything, including his golf scores, beware. That might be treason soon. See you in the spider hole!
You’ve been warned. Me, I’m signing up for Duolingo.
“That’s a lot of people,” you might say to yourself. “El Salvador isn’t even as big as New Jersey. Where are they going to put them all?”
Nobody in the White House has an answer for that, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t plans. El Salvador is willing to tear out as many banana trees, coffee plantations, and blow up as many giant sacred Olmec heads as the US needs, to build prisons for unruly Americans. So says that mini-nation’s President, Nayib Bukele, who likes to call himself “the cool dictator.”
Nobody in El Salvador points out that this is like referring to yourself as “the sweetheart serial killer,” or “the most humorous mass murderer.” Nobody does this because Bukele’s crew will pour Drano down your throat so they don’t have to listen to you scream while they tear out your fingernails if you say that. Instead, El Salvadorians are forced to remark upon the stylishness of Bukele’s clothes and the general jauntiness of his regime as his paramilitary buds machine-gun their relatives in the jungle.
Naturally, the Bloated Bloviator admires Bukele for this, because the list of people who he’d like to torture gets longer every day, from Liz Cheney on down to Elon Musk’s transgendered kid. Sure, he says he’s only going to exile American citizens who are real criminals, “the worst of the baddest, the real baseball-bat bouncing old woman head hitters, the subway criminal scum nasties.”
Or something like that. The man ought to stick to merely torturing syntax.
Just don’t think he’s going to stop with the January 6th committee or CBS or Harvard when he gets his deporting game on. The Tangerine Drama Queen proposed the greatest deportation in history while running for office and hasn’t come close to doing that. Just rounding up a few hundred people with tattoos and shoving them onto airplanes to foreign death camps is all he’s managed, which hardly comes close to what he promised his voters, which was getting rid of enough Hispanics that Walmart smiley faces will no longer need to be bilingual, and pushing out enough Muslims, or people who look like they might be Muslims, that you will no longer have to deal with Middle Easterners who call you “boss” when you go to a 7-11.
If you complain about that, though, he’s got a ticket for you to Central America. If you criticize the mealy old farter about anything, including his golf scores, beware. That might be treason soon. See you in the spider hole!
You’ve been warned. Me, I’m signing up for Duolingo.
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