It is not easy to get expelled from Congress. According to precedent, two-thirds of the House have to pinch their noses shut and say, “Yick,” when you walk into its chamber.
Whether Santos will dance as himself, or as his drag queen alter ego, Imogene Puff-Puff, has not been hashed out between Santos and the show’s producers.
Santos is far from the first disgraced or loser politician to appear on DWTS. Sean Spicer came out of the White House shrubbery to do it. Rick Perry sashayed across show’s stage in between stints as a goofball Presidential candidate and placeholder Secretary of Energy. Tom DeLay, former Speaker of the House, showed off his moves on DWTS between his several indictments.
What about Sarah Palin? you ask. She appeared on The Masked Singer, you easily confused person, and almost destroyed an entire category of music, rap, when she did. It was her daughter, Bristol, who cut the rug on Dancing. Bristol popped out three kids of her own in an unwed fashion while being a public abstinence advocate and dance contestant. The Alaskan bush banger has two baby daddies, the second of which, Dakota Meyer, is named after two states and a toothpaste manufacturer.
Santos presented himself during his candidacy as a Fellow of the Long-Winded Council of Groupthinkers, and a graduate of the Daytona Beach School of Veterinary Medicine and Wind-Surfing, when he really spent those pre-Congress years as a transexual singer in a calypso band in Brazil, and a towel boy at a nude beach in Trinidad. These facts may not be exactly precise—a man gets tired of Googling shit.
That misrepresentation was fine with House Republicans, but when Santos was indicted for spending campaign funds on Botox, a used Maserati for an ex, and anal bleaching, it was too much for them, and Santos got the heave-ho.
He will probably not be the last Republican pol to prance across the stage at DWTS before fading into irrelevance. Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene are thinking right now about how good they’d look in sequins if they lose re-election. Matt Gaetz, too.
And Tom DeLay may not even be the last former Speaker to prance in the spotlight. You listening, Kevin McCarthy?