Much of our daily mail consists of solicitations from a cornucopia of worthy causes, so many that if we contributed to them all, we would be living in a cardboard box under the freeway ourselves, and I would constantly be invited to get my own cardboard box, and find my own freeway, if I didn’t like it.
Before I threw yesterday’s batch of starving children and abandoned puppies in the trash, though, I noticed one item that was distinctly different than the others. It had a picture of the ex-Caucasian in Chief, in all his vulvic-necked glory on it, and it had “Pay to the Order of (her full name) $1100” visible on the outside of the envelope.
I sincerely doubted that Trump was sending 1100 smackeroos to my beloved and, on opening the missive, discovered that I was, as happens occasionally, not wrong. The 1100 bucks were a “credit voucher” towards the purchase of the MAGA Movement Coin Set, 24 “luxuriously layered in gold” coins, each “33 mm in diameter” (which is promptly translated as 1.3 inches, for those of you who are so core MAGA you regard the metric system as purely a libtard scam) enclosed in a “Free Premium Wooden Collector’s Box.”
Once the $1100 credit voucher is applied, the prospective buyer must cough up a measly 99 simoleons in order to own the whole package of base-metal, thinly coated with gold coins arranged on a cheap velvet-type material enclosed in artfully stained particle board, which can then be displayed in your home until Republicans take away half your Social Security, upon which it can be taken to your local pawn shop to be laughed at.
It is hardly necessary to say that Nancy will not be purchasing the 24 Piece MAGA Movement Collectors Set, not even if she gets higher than a Chinese spy balloon. She is far more likely to make a guest appearance on MILF Manor than to buy anything from Trump. In a way that is too bad, because we all need to be reminded of what Trump regarded as his triumphs, which included “Supporting America’s Veterans,” despite insulting Gold Star families and war heroes when it suited him, “Achieved Record-Setting American Economic Comeback,” even though the economy was fine when he started his term and teetering next to a cliff like Wile E Coyote when he ended it, and “Supported the Constitution,” except when he tried to overturn it.
Notable are missing coins, like “Built the Wall,” “Made Mexico Pay For It,” and “Repealed Obamacare.”
The whole project is designed to scam money out of the people he failed to scam money out of with his NFT fraud, not because they wish to not be scammed, but because they don’t understand NFT’s.
Hey, maybe he mailed it to the right house after all.