We are not talking about marching to Tijuana and then driving through Rosarito all the way to Cabo, drinking margaritas all the way. I’ve done that personally, but not in the company of a hundred thousand heavily armed soldiers.
No, both Meatball Ron and Defendant Don are talking about Special Ops missions to surgically take out Mexico’s cartel kingpins, who are pumping the USA full of fentanyl, which is killing US citizens.
Naturally, Mexico is averse to this theoretical occupation. Why, you ask? Shouldn’t they be grateful the US is putting its criminal warlords out of business, because they don’t seem to be able to do it?
Consider an alternative scenario. Mexicans are getting fatter, and that is killing some of them. Some people blame that on American fast food, franchises for which are spreading throughout that sunny land. More rational minds note that Mexicans could easily get fat without the help of KFC and Pizza Hut, because their own food is delicious, but a future Mexican President decides that American junk food is to blame for the deaths of Mexican citizens, and launches surgical strikes using Mexican Marines on McDonald’s headquarters in Chicago, Wendy’s in Dublin, Ohio and, for good measure, the castle of the Burger King in Miami, Florida, even though their fries suck.
Would the US respond by saying, “Thank God! All those Double Quarter Pounders and Whoppers were giving us heart attacks, too. Praise the Mexican Marines! Too bad they left so fast in those black helicopters instead of sticking around to have sex with our daughters!”
Um, NO. I imagine the US would respond by laying waste to the Mexican land, from Mexicali to Cancun, killing thousands in the process. Mexico is not going to be able to return that favor, but they are going to be miserably unhappy about it.
Let’s face it, people love to suck down cheeseburgers and get high, although not necessarily in that order, and no amount of covert or overt military action is going to change that.
Mexico is our #1 trading partner. It’s true China sends us all the cheap shit in Walmart that breaks as soon as you try and use it, but that doesn’t make them number one. Every tomato in every American supermarket in January was grown in Mexico. Every bottle of Modelo was brewed there. I could go on, but mostly I oppose military action in Mexico because it is my favorite place para comer, beber y pescar.*
Most Republicans are afraid to go to Mexico. This is another of the pleasant wonders of this beautiful country. Republicans think that Mexicans hate us, and are liable to shoot us on sight. This is the opposite of the truth. Mexicans are the most hospitable people on earth, and you are much more likely to be shot at an American mall than on a Mexican street.
That would change if the Meatball or the Don started sending Navy Seals into the Mexican jungle. I would have to live out my days entirely north of the border, deprived of cervezas and pangas, misty-eyed over the loss of my favorite vacationland.
And it could happen. Besides using military force against our neighbor because Americans won’t give up drugs, Republicans could point out that the Mexican Supreme Court just legalized abortion.
That’s another reason to invade. Just ask Marjorie Taylor Greene.
*Eat, drink and fish.