Gender-suspicious icon Marilyn Manson
In North Carolina, they just passed a law requiring all users of ladies’ rooms in the Tar Heel state to be actual ladies. There are a lot of other facets to this ordinance, but that is the most trenchant one, aimed at keeping transgendered males from sitting to pee among the belles of Carolina.
Critics of the law have pointed out that this is not an actual problem in North Carolina, or really, anywhere. Once a transgendered fellow has shaved his legs, done his hair, slipped on a dress and squeezed into a pair of size 10 high heels, he looks to any casual observer as qualified to use the ladies’ room as any genuine female, and since most of the business in the girl’s room is done behind stall doors, any genital discrepancies are hidden from public view.
The Governor and Legislature of North Carolina claim this law is necessary to protect the women of North Carolina from cross-dressing predators slipping into the rest facilities of that state and horrifying them, presumably by flashing their junk from underneath their panties. This legal protection strikes me as unnecessary for two reasons, the first being it never happens, and the second being that women are a lot harder to horrify than men give them credit for. I have seen women use the men’s room, for example, in public facilities where the line for the ladies’ room is just too much for them to bear. Usually they just flash a smile and say a cheery “Hi!” to all of us guys swaying in front of the urinals, trying to dispose of the gallon of beer we have guzzled since the first pitch of the game, before dashing into one of our stalls for their girl biz. These stalls are places where a great deal of haphazard spraying occurs, and where I would not sit unless I was driven to it by extreme physiological necessity.
So these women are braver than me, because men are disgusting. Sharing their sanctuary and possibly their lipstick with some gender-bending individual wouldn’t trouble them a bit is my guess. But they won’t have to worry about that in North Carolina, where the law now clearly states that a restroom user must use the facility reserved for the sex stated on his or her birth certificate. The Governor left transgendered individuals a loophole however--if they want to use the restroom for the gender they have selected, all they need to do is change the sex on their birth certificate.
Because everybody knows how to do that.
There will, however, be no North Carolina Public Bathroom Police Force. Those of you who were hoping that this law represented a job opportunity will be disappointed, but enforcement of the statute will be left to the ordinary citizens of the state. When a gender-suspicious individual presents him or herself at a public bathroom, local wisdom will determine if that person needs to have his or her birth certificate checked, or in cases of deep doubt, publicly pantsed. What could possibly go wrong?
So if you are suffering through a long layover at the airport in Charlotte and need to use the men’s room and while you are doing so, you notice the next stall is occupied by someone wearing nylons and heels, ask for her autograph.
It’s probably Caitlyn Jenner.
Critics of the law have pointed out that this is not an actual problem in North Carolina, or really, anywhere. Once a transgendered fellow has shaved his legs, done his hair, slipped on a dress and squeezed into a pair of size 10 high heels, he looks to any casual observer as qualified to use the ladies’ room as any genuine female, and since most of the business in the girl’s room is done behind stall doors, any genital discrepancies are hidden from public view.
The Governor and Legislature of North Carolina claim this law is necessary to protect the women of North Carolina from cross-dressing predators slipping into the rest facilities of that state and horrifying them, presumably by flashing their junk from underneath their panties. This legal protection strikes me as unnecessary for two reasons, the first being it never happens, and the second being that women are a lot harder to horrify than men give them credit for. I have seen women use the men’s room, for example, in public facilities where the line for the ladies’ room is just too much for them to bear. Usually they just flash a smile and say a cheery “Hi!” to all of us guys swaying in front of the urinals, trying to dispose of the gallon of beer we have guzzled since the first pitch of the game, before dashing into one of our stalls for their girl biz. These stalls are places where a great deal of haphazard spraying occurs, and where I would not sit unless I was driven to it by extreme physiological necessity.
So these women are braver than me, because men are disgusting. Sharing their sanctuary and possibly their lipstick with some gender-bending individual wouldn’t trouble them a bit is my guess. But they won’t have to worry about that in North Carolina, where the law now clearly states that a restroom user must use the facility reserved for the sex stated on his or her birth certificate. The Governor left transgendered individuals a loophole however--if they want to use the restroom for the gender they have selected, all they need to do is change the sex on their birth certificate.
Because everybody knows how to do that.
There will, however, be no North Carolina Public Bathroom Police Force. Those of you who were hoping that this law represented a job opportunity will be disappointed, but enforcement of the statute will be left to the ordinary citizens of the state. When a gender-suspicious individual presents him or herself at a public bathroom, local wisdom will determine if that person needs to have his or her birth certificate checked, or in cases of deep doubt, publicly pantsed. What could possibly go wrong?
So if you are suffering through a long layover at the airport in Charlotte and need to use the men’s room and while you are doing so, you notice the next stall is occupied by someone wearing nylons and heels, ask for her autograph.
It’s probably Caitlyn Jenner.
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