The Conservative Political Action Conference, an annual event where right-wing religious kooks gather to bemoan the existence of gender-neutral bathrooms and South America, among other things, and which attracts its fair share of Republican presidential hopefuls, including loser candidate Donald Trump this year, was held over this past weekend, and was trolled to the max by one Tommy Zegan, a sometime artist and American expatriate who hangs his hat in Rosarito, Baja, Mexico.
Zegan, who has publicly admitted to a lack of personal enthusiasm for Trump in the past, has not yet owned up to the fact that the statue is intended as a massive insult to the ex-Caucasian-in-Chief, mostly because he wants to sell it, I suspect. A hundred large is his asking price, and until he gets it, he’s going to portray himself as a loyal Trumpster. But right now, I guarantee you, he is sipping a Negra Modelo somewhere and privately cracking up.
Let’s take a look at the golden statue, which was hauled into CPAC amid murmurs of “beautiful” and “magnificent,” by the tasteless racists present. The feet of the idol are clad in flip-flops. Flip-flops are the preferred footgear in Rosarito, it’s true, and I can attest to that because I have worn them there many times, but when have you ever seen Trump's feet in them? Never. You can’t golf in flops, or lead an insurrection against Congress wearing them, if you expect to golf well or having your act of treason taken seriously.
Next, the fact that the statue is not wearing pants is a dead giveaway to its satirical intent. Trump without his pants on is a gruesome sight, according to available witnesses (think Stormy). It must have been sorely tempting to Zegan, instead of putting the Stars and Stripes on Trump's boxers, to put a pattern of little mushrooms on them instead, but he must have realized that even the dunderheads at CPAC might get an inkling they were having their legs pulled if he did that.
But the most brutal touch is THE WAND! Is that the magical wand Trump used to banish the coronavirus? Or the one he tried to conjure up the 11,000 extra votes in Georgia he needed to win the state? Or turn Michael Cohen into a toad? Or rinse his sperm out of E. Jean Carroll's skirt? Or do any of the other millions of foul deeds the vindicative old shitbird would no doubt do if he actually had a working magic wand?
The statue is finished in gold, natch, because that is Trump’s preferred color, although he is not actually gold himself. He’s more the color of a tamale, a dark burnt orange with crispy edges.
There are tons of tamales in Rosarito. Zegan should have made his statue out of them.
Zegan, who has publicly admitted to a lack of personal enthusiasm for Trump in the past, has not yet owned up to the fact that the statue is intended as a massive insult to the ex-Caucasian-in-Chief, mostly because he wants to sell it, I suspect. A hundred large is his asking price, and until he gets it, he’s going to portray himself as a loyal Trumpster. But right now, I guarantee you, he is sipping a Negra Modelo somewhere and privately cracking up.
Let’s take a look at the golden statue, which was hauled into CPAC amid murmurs of “beautiful” and “magnificent,” by the tasteless racists present. The feet of the idol are clad in flip-flops. Flip-flops are the preferred footgear in Rosarito, it’s true, and I can attest to that because I have worn them there many times, but when have you ever seen Trump's feet in them? Never. You can’t golf in flops, or lead an insurrection against Congress wearing them, if you expect to golf well or having your act of treason taken seriously.
Next, the fact that the statue is not wearing pants is a dead giveaway to its satirical intent. Trump without his pants on is a gruesome sight, according to available witnesses (think Stormy). It must have been sorely tempting to Zegan, instead of putting the Stars and Stripes on Trump's boxers, to put a pattern of little mushrooms on them instead, but he must have realized that even the dunderheads at CPAC might get an inkling they were having their legs pulled if he did that.
But the most brutal touch is THE WAND! Is that the magical wand Trump used to banish the coronavirus? Or the one he tried to conjure up the 11,000 extra votes in Georgia he needed to win the state? Or turn Michael Cohen into a toad? Or rinse his sperm out of E. Jean Carroll's skirt? Or do any of the other millions of foul deeds the vindicative old shitbird would no doubt do if he actually had a working magic wand?
The statue is finished in gold, natch, because that is Trump’s preferred color, although he is not actually gold himself. He’s more the color of a tamale, a dark burnt orange with crispy edges.
There are tons of tamales in Rosarito. Zegan should have made his statue out of them.
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