A better way to look at this, though, is to realize that right now the American economy is running faster than a black guy about to be shot by the cops. The last time the economy was this booming, the President was Bill Clinton. His approval rate was above 70 percent, and people were giving him random blowjobs for his handling of it.
Here, we’re not saying Trump doesn’t get blowjobs, though probably not from Melania, who is busy watching CNN, possibly with a vibrator by her side. We’re saying that his popularity among his base doesn’t decrease no matter how high the flames are shooting out of the White House windows.
To explore this phenomenon. this column conducted an in-depth survey of Trump supporters, sometimes referred to as “deplorables,” “Trumpanzees,” or “goddam Fox-addled shit-for-brains yickadoos.” The results were astonishing.
92% did not find Trump’s attraction to his daughter Ivanka creepy, with 51% saying they were sexually attracted to their own children, with 24% adding that they had had or were having sex with their offspring currently. The remainder of the respondents were childless.
85% love Rudy Giuliani, with 82% agreeing with the statement “He’s one of the good Jews,” with 15% believing that there is no such thing as a good Jew and 3% apparently being aware that Giuliani is not Jewish.
If Trump were to defect to Russia after going there for another summit with Putin with the intent of spilling all the top-secret beans he knew, 70% would blame CNN, 14% would blame Michael Cohen and 8% would blame Omarosa Manigault. The remainder would think that it was a cover story for Trump being Raptured.
Nearly all respondents (97%) agreed with the statement “Active shooter drills add to the fun of childhood.”
Though only 41% said that Sarah Huckabee Sanders was "purty," 59% thought she was probably "good in the bed." That number rose to 80% when the phrase "of a pickup truck" was added to the question.
When asked which President should be taken off Mt. Rushmore so that Trump could be added, 2% said Washington, 3% said Jefferson, 5% said Teddy Roosevelt and 90% said Abraham Lincoln.
96% believed it was currently illegal to burn a Confederate flag.
Of the respondents who had daughters, 85% would let Donald Trump, Jr. have sex with them, “even if he was all sweaty from shooting a giraffe or something.”
75% believed that the “Made in China” tags on their MAGA hats were fake. 55% believed that they were sewn in there personally by Nancy Pelosi.
When asked if it would be constitutional for Trump to declare himself President for Life, only one respondent said “No!”
Apparently Mike Pence slipped into the survey.