At first blush, this seems like an entirely plausible claim. Anybody who owns as many pantsuits as Hillary must also keep sex slaves. She has a taste for them, like her fondness for hot sauce and emails. She was known to keep sex slaves in the basement of a pizza joint in DC but had to move them out of there when the business was discovered to have no basement. George Soros, whose last name begins with an "s," like both "sex" and "slave," and the Rothschilds, who are Jews, helped her herd them out in the dead of night to the Arizona desert.
All this was discovered by Veterans on Patrol, a group where you don’t actually have to be a veteran to join. Just owning a gun and having an inclination to fuck with people qualifies you for membership. The Veterans discovered an abandoned homeless camp in the desert, which contained an underground tank where they think sex slaves were held prisoner and a “rape tree” with straps attached to it, where children being sex-trafficked could be tied up and have the predictable thing done to them.
The Tucson police investigated the scene and immediately started covering up the evidence of Clintonian sex crimes. They claimed that the straps were just used to tie tarps to the trees so the homeless people could have some shade. Shade is a heavily desired commodity in Tucson in the summer, where daytime highs can reach a nice even 115 degrees, at which point Tucsonians will grin and brag that it’s still three degrees cooler than Phoenix. The cops also ran a cadaver dog over the premises, and found no cadavers, which just proved to the Veterans that all the sex slaves were moved out of there alive.
All this makes sense to the group’s millions of adherents on Facebook and YouTube. Where did Loretta Lynch and Bill Clinton have their famous meeting to bury Hillary’s email crimes? Arizona, so they could enjoy some sex slaves afterwards. Why was Anthony Weiner sexting underage girls? Because Huma cut him off from the sex slaves, because she was mad at him for claiming he had to be a Congressman instead of attending her mother’s birthday party. Why did Hillary lose Pennsylvania and Wisconsin? Because she didn’t bus in enough sex slaves to vote for her in either state.
The burning question is, where are the sex slaves now? They were at the recent G-7 summit, because Merkel and Macron’s wife are known to have an older woman’s desire for lots of sex slaves, just like Hillary does. Trudeau was there too, shamelessly being the Prime Minister of Canada despite the fact that he was raised as a sex slave, and a particularly adorable one, too.
And Canada is close to New York, where Clinton used to be Senator. New York is so full of trees that at least some of them have to be rape trees. George Soros and the Rothschilds are known to have landed in New York in airplanes. It all makes sense, if you can connect the dots.
So, grab your gun and go looking for abandoned sex slave encampments near you. Apparently, Hillary’s too cheap to keep her sex slaves indoors. And ignore your friends and family when they tell you you’ve “drunk the Kool-Aid.”
Tell them you’ve eaten the pizza instead.