Author Richard Cahill's Website--Living By Our Motto:"There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People Asking Questions Everybody else already knows the answer to."

​The eminent conspiracy theorist and part-time Congressperson Marjorie Taylor Greene was recently observed bemoaning the plight of white guys, saying that they were attracted to porn, video games and living in their female relative’s basements because of the “persecution of white men,” and the “anti-white agenda.”
 
In other words, if not for anti-Caucasian prejudice, white men would give up spanking it over Pornhub and save all their love juices for Marjorie Taylor Greene.
 
NO! Did that slip out? I’m sure she didn’t mean that, exactly, but it is tough to discern what she did mean. What about all the non-white men lying in their grandma’s basement in a pool of sweat, exhausted from slapping the bishop and playing Minecraft? What is their motivation for living sad, useless lives, shaming themselves continuously while listening to Mawmaw bang around on her walker on the floor above?
 
Possibly it is because MTG believes no more can be expected of them, because they are not white. I would say this is the most obvious answer, certainly in the case of black and Asian men, because they are on the face of it, not white. They are doing what she expects of them, but if not for the anti-white agenda, white guys wouldn’t be emulating them. They would be going to church, hanging out at bars where they throw axes instead of darts, sitting in hunting blinds, and doing other white-manly stuff.
 
Or being imprisoned in the DC jail for trashing the Capitol on January 6th? MGT has a lot of sympathy for the conditions these white guys are being held in, even though the food was just as lousy, the shivs were just as sharp, and the rats were just as big when there were only black guys in the DC jail. If the Congresswoman cared about the state of the jail then, she kept it on the down-low.
 
Also, there is the matter of who the Congresswoman regards as white. While Jews, Arabs, Iranians, other miscellaneous Middle Eastern types, Indians and Pakistanis are all considered Caucasian, it is doubtful MTG considers them white. So, no shame can be attached to those guys if they while away their time squirting their mustard over Stormy Daniel’s greatest hits. A lot of them seem to became doctors anyway. Greene does not offer an explanation for this.
 
Can Democrats, in fact, be white guys? Could it be that being “woke” and going to college sucks all the Caucasianality out of a male? This is a topic for the Congresswoman to explore next time she wedges herself onto a podcast.

So, what makes a guy white? Let’s narrow the field. Is it having a piss-poor education at some Jesus school? Is it sneering at the so-called “experts” that, in fact, built the world you slither through on your wife’s two jobs and you tying flies and selling them at the swap meet? Is it bullying the clerk at the 7-11 because of his accent? Is it whining because all the good electrical engineering jobs go to people who can actually electrically engineer? Is it buying your girlfriend a Confederate flag thong?
 
Everybody does hate those guys.
 
Goddammit, she’s right.

It’s only been about 18 hours since the Justice Department let it slip that the Former Caucasian-in-Chief was keeping nuclear secrets in a spare room with his pool noodles. It’s been several days though, since word broke, from the lips of America’s Ex himself, that a search warrant was served on the overpriced Shithole-by-the-Sea, Mar a Lago, by the FBI.
 
When that was sprung on the unsuspecting public last Tuesday, Republicans and Trumpeteers were all over it, from the highest ranking to the lowest liars on that side. Wannabee Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, advised The Attorney General to “clear his calendar and preserve all his documents,” indicating that the House would fricassee him down to his gray-haired testicles once the Republicans took charge of it. “Don’t be flushing nothin’ down them Main Justice toilets,” he might as well have added.
 
Since the scandal went nuclear, Kevin’s been notably quiet.
 
Some Republicans argued that Trump wasn’t guilty because he can “declassify things with his mind,” ignoring the fact that the Mango Man can’t even spell things with his mind. Also, the fact that Biden, by this argument, can reclassify things with his mind, and probably did so while playing Frisbee with his dog on the beach in Rehoboth.
 
Since it came out that one of the things Trump might have had boxed next to his pool skimmer was the location of all of China’s hypersonic cruise missiles, we haven’t heard much from the mind declassifers.
 
Many people, and I mean people ranging from Fox frothers like Jesse Waters to Senator Rand “Won’t You be My Neighbor?” Paul, are questioning whether the FBI “planted” evidence underneath Trump’s badminton net.
 
Since it came out that the evidence is so classified it probably won’t ever be read in court, those pieholes have been clamped shut.
 
Trump himself has implied all of the above, which is that the evidence he already declassified with his mind was accidentally shipped there by the White House movers, and also planted by the FBI in a raid which was illegal because he’s an Ex, which makes him entitled to keep a list of all the Russian bunkers we plan to nuke out first when WW III starts next to his cabana boy's cabana. He’s also accused Obama of taking thirty million pages (or pounds, I forget which) of classified documents out of the White House when he left it, and HER EMAILS!
 
But, so far, he’s the only one defending himself. But have faith. Somebody will jump in on his side soon, with something other than a whiny couldn’t they have just asked him nicely, maybe during a friendly game of Marco Polo, for America’s Top Secrets back?
 
My money is on Marjorie Taylor Green, mostly recently spotted selling DEFUND THE FBI baseball caps on Facebook. She’s the one who will say that Trump was masterminding a plan to expose international child molesters by tempting them to his golf course with a promise of classified info, because the only thing that child molesters want more than molesting children is to possess, and possibly sexually abuse, incredibly hush-hush intelligence reports. George Soros, Jews and Democrats were all going to fall into Trump’s cunning trap.
 
Just give her and her kind the rest of the weekend to figure it out. As far as Trump starting to act cunning, though, my guess is it’s going to take longer than that.

Somehow, clicking idly along the Net the other day, I ran across a Fox editorial by David Marcus. I don’t know who David Marcus is, but I suspect he’s one of those people who look at all-white fundamentalist churches praying in unison against Democrats, critical race theory and Mexicans, and feels the power of their righteousness so deeply he almost pees himself.
 
Ol’ Dave had some arresting things to say, after averring that we were on the brink of a religious revival comparable to the Great Awakening, which no one beside him and Neil Gorsuch believes. “Never underestimate God,” he advises us, followed by, “God will start to operated more openly.”
 
All spoken as if he had a direct line of communication with the Almighty. I don’t know about him, but I do have a direct line of communication with the Deity. We Skype sometimes. He used to appear to me in person, but now I, at least, prefer Skype. By tilting the computer at the right angle, I can avoid Him seeing all the mess and empty beer cans in the background. I realize that He can see anything He wants—I’m just thinking He doesn’t need to see that.
 
So, I messaged Him, and about a half-hour later He got back to me. I ran Dave’s ideas by Him and He snorted. “Sure, you ought not to underestimate Me. I’m All-Powerful. But what people don't understand is that All-Powerful doesn’t mean the same thing as really interested. So, he’s kind of right, but it sounds like he expects me to care. I have had enough expectations foisted on me by donut-gobbling Baptists that I’m rock-bottom bored with them. And boredom goes a long way when you’re an Eternal Being.
 
“As far as starting to operate more openly, that’s a hard pass. Shady as fuck is the way I roll. And it’s all your fault. Not you personally—nobody cares what you say. Nobody cares what you pray, either, and nobody means Me, so if you start wafting some piteous yowlings aloft like some so many of your friends do, just because I take your calls, I’m changing my username, kapisch?”
 
Got it.
 
“No, it’s you guys in general. For every guy who’s praying for Me to cure them of cancer, there’s another praying to collect his life insurance money. For every quarterback praying for a touchdown, there’s a defensive back imploring me for an interception. For every war, there’s a bishop with a long dress and a funny hat on each side praying to Me to slaughter their enemies. For every plane crash—well, scratch that one. Nobody prays for planes to crash…well, the terrorists do sometimes…you see why the whole ‘operate more openly,’ thing sticks in My craw?
 
I’m starting to. What about this article, which says the opposite-- young people are rejecting church?

"That is My deal. That's why it's My Will that most of them have to work retail during the day and drive Uber at night just to survive. Keeps them out of the congregations. 
 
“But, for the most part, I’m continuing to stay on the down low. Every once in a while, I let a high school basketball team sink one at the buzzer. Or I grant some Buddhist Asian immigrant his wish to win the lottery, just so all the white people who lose can complain about real Americans never winning it. Or I let Rush Limbaugh die of cancer. No prayer really involved in that one. I just enjoyed it.
 
But what about Trump?
 
“WAS THAT A REQUEST?”
 
No. Sorry. Never mind.
 
“Better be Me-damn certain it wasn’t.”

Alex Jones has been known as an abominable piece of prevaricating offal for twenty years now. Currently, he’s being asked to cough up a considerable chunk of change to the parents of people whose kids he claimed weren’t really dead after a school shooting in Connecticut. After it turned out those kids were actually dead after all,  Jones said, “Whoopsie! My bad.”
 
This may be the worst thing Jones has ever done, but he’s done plenty of things that were close. Like Trump, he’s killed many a person who took his advice not to get the Covid vaccine. He’s anti-Semitic, ant-Muslim, anti-gay and anti-women. I probably missed a couple of things there, but, basically, unless you’re like him, a chonk white guy who makes his living selling dietary supplements, you’re on his shit list.
 
But before he took the stand in Texas, which was just about as smart as going canoeing in Kentucky, Jones was way behind Trump. Jones was in favor of kids in cages. Trump actually put kids in cages. Jones wanted to kiss dictator hiney. Trump smooched pale fascist butt all over the world. Jones financed January 6th, but Trump incited it. The list goes on.
 
So, distant second for Worse Person in the USA? Not anymore. The fact that his lawyer “accidentally” sent two years’ worth of Jones’ text messages to his opposite number in Jones’ civil trial, probably muttering, “This ought to once and for all fuck that fat bastard,” when he did it, may just have put Jones ahead of the Orange Weaseler.
 
They found all kinds of proof that Jones was a perjuring dumpster rat on his phone, natch, but they also found child porn on it. This is not to say that Trump has never enjoyed child porn, or even sex with actual children. No doubt he has. But the evidence is lacking, whereas Jones’ digital spank bank is now a matter of public record. Jones claims the porn was “embedded” on his phone by antifa, or opposition lawyers, or the parents of the murdered children at Sandy Hook, implying that the first thing anybody would do when their first-grader dies in a hail of bullets is bone up on their hacking skills.
 
But the thing that really might put Jones ahead as he and Trump gallop along in the final stretch of the Shameless Lowlife Derby, is the revelation that there are “intimate” messages between Jones and fellow professional unbalanced liar Roger Stone on the phone.
 
This is enough to make anybody grab the nearest bucket and start retching. Jones, who has a protruding belly comparable to any bare-chested oligarch's  who has been photographed wearing a Speedo in his yacht's jacuzzi full of high-priced prostitutes, is sexually attracted to Roger Stone, whose hobby is dressing like the Penguin? If you want to talk about a love that dare not speak its name, let alone be memorialized in hard-breathing text messages, this is Numero Uno, sport. This couple could spend a half-hour trying to find each other’s genitals and count it as foreplay.
 
No one has ever suggested that Trump is attracted to Stone, as nobody should be. Indeed, when informed of the text messages, Trump was said to have remarked, “I’d rather dig up Ivana and have sex with her.”
 
Good idea, ex-guy. That would for sure put you back in the game.