Grim-faced men of many nations are flying to Ukraine as I write this, to face off against the Russian aggressors, but none of them are Proud Boys, or 3 Percenters, or Oath Keepers, or anybody else among what I like to call the Fat Boys for Freedom are among them. Or, if they are, they’re keeping a low profile.
Could it be that it’s one thing to sneak attack the US Capital when you outnumber the cops ten to one, with an eye to hanging a bunch of unarmed, elderly politicians in suits and heels, which, admittedly, you’ve already proved yourselves dismal failures at, but another thing to face off against an actual armed enemy? I don’t see this as a strong argument for your bravery. The Russian army is more dangerous than whoever it is you are defending yourself against when you open-carry your AR-15 into a Walgreen’s, but, as per the available evidence, not much more.
And don't be whimpering that the US government advises against you fighting in the 'Kraine. Since when do you guys take orders from the Deep State?
It's true your supply lines are going to be stretched thin. The European Union does not allow Little Debbie snack cakes to be imported into their continent. The French made sure of that. Loaded nachos are served in very few restaurants in Ukraine. Expect your fellow freedom fighters to look at you blankly when you ask them if they’ve ever had turducken.
Whether you will be able to carry Trump and Confederate flags into battle is a difficult question. On one hand, the Ukrainians are winning the battlefield by using sneak attacks and unconventional tactics, and it’s tough to be sneaky when you’re waving a flag the same size as a IHop sign on the interstate.
On the other hand, the Russian army, frostbitten, starving, and running out of bullets, may see you as allies. They need help in the worst way, and when they see those Don’t Tread on Me flags and hear the roar of your monster trucks, they may well feel that Tucker Carlson himself has tired of repeating Russian propaganda from his comfy studio in New York and come to the battlefield, knife in teeth, to save them. You may hear them crying “Приди и спаси нас Такер Карлсон!”* and you’ll mutter to yourself “What the hell are them people trying to say?
They’re trying to say they’re on your side. And you know what? They probably are.
* Pridi i spasi nas Taker Karlson, or Save us, Tucker Carlson!