The above words from Paula White, one of Trumps “spiritual advisors,” raises a multitude of questions, not the least of which is Why does Trump need a spiritual advisor? Because being a spiritual advisor to Trump is like being a dietician for a great white shark. As soon as there is blood in the water, your advice is going to be ignored, and there's always a chance you will get swallowed up whole.
Another question is How deranged do you have to be to think the legal status of Christ’s migration to Egypt, to escape being murdered by Herod, the ruler of Judea at the time and also, although this is not commonly known, the founder of MS-13, is in any way possibly relevant to current events?
Probably just Paula and this column are sufficiently unbalanced to think so. But let’s continue. Jesus was an infant at the time of his entry into Egypt, carried into a foreign land by Mary and Joseph, which a lot of bleeding heart liberals think is similar to the situation the refugees at our southern border find themselves in when they arrive clutching one of their non-English-speaking brats. Is ICE telling each and every one of them, “Hey, by bringing your baby into this country, do you know you are totally destroying your child’s chances of becoming the Messiah?” We hope they are.
Christ should have been separated from his parents, thrown into a cage, and eventually been adopted by a childless Egyptian couple and spent his life happily building pyramids and blowing off the whole Savior of the World business, right? And Mary and Joseph should have been prevented from crossing the Egyptian border and taking jobs away from the legitimate residents there, although if any of the locals were holding down jobs that Christ’s parents were qualified for, like being total wussbags or Mothers of God, is not known from the historical record.
This line of thinking is wrong, for several reasons.
First off, the border authorities in Egypt at the time (1 AD) were considerably underequipped compared to ICE. They didn’t have guns, two-way radios, infrared sensing gear or swell uniforms. They probably were just a couple of bored guys wearing dresses and carrying spears, ill-prepared to deal with the influx of refugees fleeing persecution by Herod (at last count, three).
Paula doesn’t explain why Jesus’s emigration was necessarily legal, so let this column pick up the slack. It’s pretty obvious that the Lord would have qualified for an EB-1 visa, the so called “Einstein,” “genius” or “extraordinary abilities” visa. He could walk on water. He could raise the dead. He could change water into wine. Melania Trump got one, and the only thing she’s able to change is her vagina into an ATM. He could multiply loaves and fishes, whereas Einstein could only multiply numbers.
But what about Mary and Joseph? They had no obvious talents, apart from Joseph being unbelievably gullible and Mary for knowing how to stick to a story. Why would they have been admitted to Egypt?
Because one thing you can say about the Egyptians—they might have known how to build mighty Sphinxes, write hieroglyphics and have queens alluring enough to have affairs with Roman emperors, but they didn’t know anything about the menace of chain migration.
Let’s learn from their mistake.