“Wow, how many times can a girl get her nails done?” said some skeptics, while others pointed out that unlikely number had just randomly bubbled up to the surface of the jambalaya that is what’s left of the President’s aging brain.
White House press secretary Stephanie “You Can’t Make Me Talk” Grisham rose to Ivanka’s defense. “President Trump does not make mistakes. The 14 million number is accurate. The trouble is, because of the Deep State, CNN and Adam Schiff, all those jobs were unfortunately created in China.
“Far left radical Democrats keep Americans from benefiting from Ivanka’s robust job creation policy. Their socialist policies prevent the President’s daughter from making purses, gloves and accessories in our country. Democrats, particularly all of the ones running for President and that Alexandria Occasionally-Cortez person, are the people that don’t let 14-year-old girls be chained to workbenches while stitching pocketbooks together for six bucks a day, seven days a week, while ignoring their troubling cries of “Please, please let me go so I can become a sex worker.”
“China does not mind letting Ivanka contract out her work to Uighur slave camps, since gluing boots together keeps their minds off wanting their own country. When we MAGA again in 2020, maybe we can get those caged kids to do something as useful, instead of just sitting there unwashed and giving each other respiratory infections. Until then, though, Ivanka is forced to use her miraculous job-creating powers elsewhere.
“Think about that before you get all impeachy on her dad.”