“You don’t pay someone $130,000 not to have sex with you.”--Mitt Romney
True wisdom from the lips of the only Mormon to have come close to the Oval Office. Of all the torrent of lies that have spewed forth from the Tangerine Drama Queen’s lips since his toddler days, which we can safely assume vastly exceeds the thirty-thousand or so he told in the mere four years he was President, according to the Washington Post, none is more widely disbelieved than the one Trump tells about never having had sex with Stormy Daniels.
From the furthest leftists who are still scrolling through PornHub every day hoping that the pee tapes finally show up there, to the most virulent Trumpster living in a trailer in the woods, painting "Trump" on all his ammo clips because that's the only word he can spell correctly, not a single person in the English-speaking world believes Trump when he says he never pulled out the mushroom on the Stormster.
Even STEVE BANNON, still out on bail pending appeal, freely admits “I want to return modern society to the Middle Ages, especially because nobody took baths back then. Guys like me could get laid by peasant girls just for being a knight or a monk, no matter how sweaty and rank we were from slaying or praying all day but, in the here and now, I’d love to put my flakey old manhood into Stormy just like Trump did. I’d even let her shower after.”
ALINA HABBA, one of Trump’s many lawyers, is on the record as saying, “Donald Trump never did anything wrong or illegal, ever. Even criticizing the size of his great dimpled ass is political persecution. And putting the wood to Stormy was not illegal. Otherwise, we’d have to jail thousands of dudes, am I right?”
PAULA WHITE, Trump’s spiritual adviser, says, “I have spoken to the Lord, and He has forgiven Trump for taking a porn star to the boneyard right after his wife had given birth. Trump has been anointed by God to save America, and when God plans on saving His favorite nation, He’s not going to let a few minutes of lust between His anointed one and some harlot begging for his passion-filled wee-wee interfere with His Will.”
FRANKLIN GRAHAM, another evangelical fan of Trump’s, said, “Trump is the Way, the Truth, and the Light, just like Jesus. And just like Jesus tapped Mary Magdelene, Trump porked that strumpet. Verily.”
LINDSEY GRAHAM (no relation to Franklin) and TIM SCOTT, both Senators from South Carolina, issued a joint statement: “Although neither one of us could imagine ever having sex with a woman, we certainly concur that that Donald for sure shoved his brave member into the pulsating, nasty va-jay-jay of that notorious porn ho. Yuck.”
MELANIA TRUMP was quoted as saying. “He fuck her. And he pay. I fuck every pool boy at every golf course on the East Coast to get even. I even tell Barron to call any man with a skimmer or a bag of chlorine in his hand ‘Daddy.”
So, there you have it. The one lie Trump’s told that absolutely nobody believes. Will he tell it under oath, if he drags his plump ass onto the witness stand?
You know he will.
True wisdom from the lips of the only Mormon to have come close to the Oval Office. Of all the torrent of lies that have spewed forth from the Tangerine Drama Queen’s lips since his toddler days, which we can safely assume vastly exceeds the thirty-thousand or so he told in the mere four years he was President, according to the Washington Post, none is more widely disbelieved than the one Trump tells about never having had sex with Stormy Daniels.
From the furthest leftists who are still scrolling through PornHub every day hoping that the pee tapes finally show up there, to the most virulent Trumpster living in a trailer in the woods, painting "Trump" on all his ammo clips because that's the only word he can spell correctly, not a single person in the English-speaking world believes Trump when he says he never pulled out the mushroom on the Stormster.
Even STEVE BANNON, still out on bail pending appeal, freely admits “I want to return modern society to the Middle Ages, especially because nobody took baths back then. Guys like me could get laid by peasant girls just for being a knight or a monk, no matter how sweaty and rank we were from slaying or praying all day but, in the here and now, I’d love to put my flakey old manhood into Stormy just like Trump did. I’d even let her shower after.”
ALINA HABBA, one of Trump’s many lawyers, is on the record as saying, “Donald Trump never did anything wrong or illegal, ever. Even criticizing the size of his great dimpled ass is political persecution. And putting the wood to Stormy was not illegal. Otherwise, we’d have to jail thousands of dudes, am I right?”
PAULA WHITE, Trump’s spiritual adviser, says, “I have spoken to the Lord, and He has forgiven Trump for taking a porn star to the boneyard right after his wife had given birth. Trump has been anointed by God to save America, and when God plans on saving His favorite nation, He’s not going to let a few minutes of lust between His anointed one and some harlot begging for his passion-filled wee-wee interfere with His Will.”
FRANKLIN GRAHAM, another evangelical fan of Trump’s, said, “Trump is the Way, the Truth, and the Light, just like Jesus. And just like Jesus tapped Mary Magdelene, Trump porked that strumpet. Verily.”
LINDSEY GRAHAM (no relation to Franklin) and TIM SCOTT, both Senators from South Carolina, issued a joint statement: “Although neither one of us could imagine ever having sex with a woman, we certainly concur that that Donald for sure shoved his brave member into the pulsating, nasty va-jay-jay of that notorious porn ho. Yuck.”
MELANIA TRUMP was quoted as saying. “He fuck her. And he pay. I fuck every pool boy at every golf course on the East Coast to get even. I even tell Barron to call any man with a skimmer or a bag of chlorine in his hand ‘Daddy.”
So, there you have it. The one lie Trump’s told that absolutely nobody believes. Will he tell it under oath, if he drags his plump ass onto the witness stand?
You know he will.
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