
Trump, in his endearing way of advocating unemployment for anybody who attacks him or his relatives, promptly tweeted that ABC should fire Bee, despite him having inviting Ted Nugent, who once called Hillary Clinton a “toxic c*nt,” to the White House.
The outraged left promptly called Trump out on his hypocrisy, ignoring several very reasonable explanations for Trump’s behavior. First, it’s possibly that, while Trump may well know the meaning of “toxic,” he may not know what “feckless” means, and people using bigly words sometimes angers him. He may have misunderstood “feckless” as meaning the same thing as “fuckless,” and Trump knows that’s not true, because Ivanka has sex with Jarod, although it is difficult to imagine them having sex like regular people do, rutting away in a hormone-fueled frenzy while streaming some porn in the background. Go ahead, try and imagine it. I’ll wait.
Whew! Wasn’t that unpleasant? So, the controversy may have nothing to do with the c-word at all. Plus, nobody can fire Ted Nugent, because the guy doesn’t have a job.
But it’s left people wondering—when should they use “p*ssy” and when should they use “c*nt?” The words can be easily confused. Both are slang for a woman’s vajayjay, and both have an asterisk where a crucial vowel should be. “P*ssy” is part of the Presidential vocabulary, although the feeling here is that “c*nt” is as well, so that doesn’t help.
“P*ssy” is the far more user-friendly term. Even women often refer to their pleasure muffins as “my p*ssy,” and hetero guys always call the love cave that—it is not socially acceptable for a man to use the word “vagina,” unless he actually has a medical degree. The word “vagina” itself is the reason for the widespread use of “p*ssy,” as few people want to bother using a three-syllable Latin word to describe the common coochie.
“P*ssy” can also be used as an insult, but in a very specific way, meaning the insultee is being accused of a lack of bravery in any situation, whether it be standing up to the boss or hang-gliding off a cliff. The subject of the epithet must be male—women cannot be accused of being p*ssies.
“C*nt,” on the other hand, is almost always used for insult purposes. A woman will never call her sugar tunnel “my c*nt,” and a man better not either, unless he wants to abandon all hope of visiting there.
“C*nt” when used to describe a woman means the same thing as calling a man that other most beloved of American denigrations, “asshole.” It means they lack empathy for your or someone else’s problems. It means you shouldn’t post Tweets of yourself embracing your over-privileged white child while brown children are being taken away from their mothers on your father's orders and put in places that I am not sure of. But I’m betting they don’t have swings and ball pits.
So Samantha was using the c-word exactly correctly. Ivanka is a “c*nt.”
And so, by the way, is her dad.