If you run an image search for Abraham and Isaac, lots of pics come up. This is Mike Pence's favorite Jeff Sessions, the Elf-General of the United States, recently sought to explain the righteousness of separating refugee children from their parents by quoting the Bible. This is the passage he read to a cop convention in Indiana:
I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes. Orderly and lawful processes are good in themselves. Consistent and fair application of the law is in itself a good and moral thing, and that protects the weak and protects the lawful.
This is nice. The Bible could say the same about the government of North Korea. Reading the Good Book could certainly soothe the feelings of the people that Trump’s new pal Kim Jung Un has starved and shot, and Trump would do well to quote it the next time he wants to smooch the Fat Kid’s ass, although we all know that Trump’s familiarity with the Bible merely consists of his knowing it’s a rectangular object he sometimes has to put his hand on before continuing to lie.
But it’s far from the only passage in the Bible that supports child abuse. Kids are regularly killed and tormented in Scripture. Sessions could have easily cited the lines from Exodus where God kills the first born of every Egyptian just for shits and grins. A policy like that would thin out those refugee lines considerably, and it would be perfectly Christian.
But that would raise hell with the libtards, so Sessions might find it easier to use the Abrahamic method of just threatening to kill your kid because God wants you to, and even holding a knife over him until an angel appears to you and says “God was just fucking with you, Abe.” The kid in question, Isaac, grew up to be a notable character in the Bible himself, because they didn’t have PTSD back then. Otherwise he probably would have responded to his near-murder by starting to kill cats and dogs in his youth before growing up to be Ted Bundy BC.
So maybe just traumatizing those illegal kids is a bad idea. But don’t tell me Sessions is traumatizing them by tearing them out of their parent’s arms and forcing them to live in tent cities, because in the Bible nearly everybody lives in a tent, sometimes for up to forty years at a time. So, you’ve been wandering in the desert, and now you have to live in a tent? Lucky kid, you are following the path of God’s chosen people! Although we wish you would choose to live somewhere else.
The crucial story in the Bible is a deeply disturbing example of child abuse, as God sends his only Kid here to be tortured and killed. We’re not saying we should do that to immigrant children, but maybe we should remind them of that story. Then they might be grateful that their parents are merely going to prison and they are just going to be held captive too, until Mom and Dad have served their time and are released to take them back to Central America to be murdered there. Make them thankful that they are getting a couple tortillas a day instead of getting crucified. Praise be.
And let them know that the next time they come north, they are going to find a great, big, beautiful wall blocking their way, because we are tired of their kind coming here and speaking Spanish in our Wal-Marts. Unfortunately, the Bible is not going to help us teach them that lesson—a wall is only prominently mentioned in it once.
And that one came tumbling down.
I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes. Orderly and lawful processes are good in themselves. Consistent and fair application of the law is in itself a good and moral thing, and that protects the weak and protects the lawful.
This is nice. The Bible could say the same about the government of North Korea. Reading the Good Book could certainly soothe the feelings of the people that Trump’s new pal Kim Jung Un has starved and shot, and Trump would do well to quote it the next time he wants to smooch the Fat Kid’s ass, although we all know that Trump’s familiarity with the Bible merely consists of his knowing it’s a rectangular object he sometimes has to put his hand on before continuing to lie.
But it’s far from the only passage in the Bible that supports child abuse. Kids are regularly killed and tormented in Scripture. Sessions could have easily cited the lines from Exodus where God kills the first born of every Egyptian just for shits and grins. A policy like that would thin out those refugee lines considerably, and it would be perfectly Christian.
But that would raise hell with the libtards, so Sessions might find it easier to use the Abrahamic method of just threatening to kill your kid because God wants you to, and even holding a knife over him until an angel appears to you and says “God was just fucking with you, Abe.” The kid in question, Isaac, grew up to be a notable character in the Bible himself, because they didn’t have PTSD back then. Otherwise he probably would have responded to his near-murder by starting to kill cats and dogs in his youth before growing up to be Ted Bundy BC.
So maybe just traumatizing those illegal kids is a bad idea. But don’t tell me Sessions is traumatizing them by tearing them out of their parent’s arms and forcing them to live in tent cities, because in the Bible nearly everybody lives in a tent, sometimes for up to forty years at a time. So, you’ve been wandering in the desert, and now you have to live in a tent? Lucky kid, you are following the path of God’s chosen people! Although we wish you would choose to live somewhere else.
The crucial story in the Bible is a deeply disturbing example of child abuse, as God sends his only Kid here to be tortured and killed. We’re not saying we should do that to immigrant children, but maybe we should remind them of that story. Then they might be grateful that their parents are merely going to prison and they are just going to be held captive too, until Mom and Dad have served their time and are released to take them back to Central America to be murdered there. Make them thankful that they are getting a couple tortillas a day instead of getting crucified. Praise be.
And let them know that the next time they come north, they are going to find a great, big, beautiful wall blocking their way, because we are tired of their kind coming here and speaking Spanish in our Wal-Marts. Unfortunately, the Bible is not going to help us teach them that lesson—a wall is only prominently mentioned in it once.
And that one came tumbling down.
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