Photo from cbsmews.com
Lifetime announced today that unwed mother Bristol Palin, daughter of right-wing sex symbol Sarah Palin, will begin filming ten episodes of a reality TV show for the network.
The show will follow the travails of Palin as she struggles to regain her life after being knocked up by a local hunk with the IQ of a slab of bacon. She has to deal with the typical problems of any unwed mother, such as appearing on "Dancing with the Stars," funding her own public relations firm and becoming a spokesperson for teen abstinence.
What does she tell her teenage audiences about the problem of underage love? "I tell them it was very difficult for me," said America's favorite frontier Lolita. "All the males in Wasilla are complete idiots. Why else do you think my mom had to marry a lug nut like my dad? They just had to put a twelve-foot high representation of a vagina on the grounds of the high school to remind those Wasilla boys what they were supposed to be after. Levi kept loping off into the woods, making moose noises, when we were supposed to be having furtive teen sex. Fortunately, my mom was governor and used to send the state police to bring him back, otherwise I would never have gotten pregnant at all."
When asked what the single most difficult task single moms face, Palin replied, "Seeing your face on the covers of all those magazines. It's embarrassing when you go to the supermarket but, like my mom tells me, it helps you stay self-absorbed."
When pressed further about more potentially emotional issues, such as maintaining her child's relationship with his baby daddy, Palin replied "Levi? We built a corral for him. There's a shed in the corner for when it gets cold. My son Tripp and I go out and touch him through the fence sometimes."