The indicting is done, the convicting is yet to happen, but already professional prognosticators are examining the question of what future President could accumulate at least 92 formal legal accusations of felonious behavior.
Some, of course, scoff at the idea that any President, no matter how far in the future, could top Trump for sheer criminality. "He or she would have to sell the moon to man-eating aliens and rule the Earth from an orbiting White House to even come close," said one distinguished future foreseer. "There will never be anyone like Trump for unparalleled venality."
Others are not so sure. "The US is full of criminals," said another. "Prior to Trump, none of them had even considered then Presidency as a vessel for their crimes. But, for sure, their eyes are open now."
"Certainly Trump's record can be beaten," asserted a third. "Just look to his kids. Who's more of a slippery, teeny-peeny grifter than Jared Kushner? All he needs is Ivanka in the Oval Office and he'll be renting out Rhode Island to the House of Saud. Eric is obviously oblivious to nearly everything, unless he can feel it in his underwear, and the law is no exception. Junior, though, is the heavy hitter of the trio. Utterly soulless, murderous, and self-centered. If he ever gets 270 electoral votes, the United States is a frog and he's the blender. And, bonus, his girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, would have a real shot at being a worse First Lady than Melania.
"And nobody knows how Barron will turn out, but his background just drips with potential."
Of course, the panel had to include at least one Republican clairvoyant, but when it was his turn to predict, he didn't elaborate. "Two words," he said. "Hunter. Biden."
Some, of course, scoff at the idea that any President, no matter how far in the future, could top Trump for sheer criminality. "He or she would have to sell the moon to man-eating aliens and rule the Earth from an orbiting White House to even come close," said one distinguished future foreseer. "There will never be anyone like Trump for unparalleled venality."
Others are not so sure. "The US is full of criminals," said another. "Prior to Trump, none of them had even considered then Presidency as a vessel for their crimes. But, for sure, their eyes are open now."
"Certainly Trump's record can be beaten," asserted a third. "Just look to his kids. Who's more of a slippery, teeny-peeny grifter than Jared Kushner? All he needs is Ivanka in the Oval Office and he'll be renting out Rhode Island to the House of Saud. Eric is obviously oblivious to nearly everything, unless he can feel it in his underwear, and the law is no exception. Junior, though, is the heavy hitter of the trio. Utterly soulless, murderous, and self-centered. If he ever gets 270 electoral votes, the United States is a frog and he's the blender. And, bonus, his girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, would have a real shot at being a worse First Lady than Melania.
"And nobody knows how Barron will turn out, but his background just drips with potential."
Of course, the panel had to include at least one Republican clairvoyant, but when it was his turn to predict, he didn't elaborate. "Two words," he said. "Hunter. Biden."
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