It has been awhile since I mentioned the WND, or World Net Daily, one of my favorite Internet publications, in this column. This is not because I ceased to enjoy this online magazine. It is because my subscription was cancelled.
For those of you unfamiliar with the WND, it is a forum devoted to Sharia law and gay agenda resisting heavily armed white Christians fanatically behind the most right-wing politicians they can locate, who also share an undying devotion to the state of Israel, not so much because they care for Israelis but because they are constantly looking for events in the Middle East that presage the Second Coming, Final Judgment, the Rapture and the Apocalypse, which most of the WND's readers look confidently towards in a kind of continuous eschatological frenzy.
Why you would worry about minor political questions or how much ammunition you have in the shed when you are convinced that Jesus is coming in glory to assign you your outside table in eternity by the end of the weekend, at the latest, is a question the WND always leaves hanging.
During the time I was subscribed to the WND I received 362 email notices from them that urged me to read such news flashes as "War Cry of Allah Heard at White House," and "Homosexuals Wage Holy War on Israeli Village." While I didn't always click on the links, I felt better informed just by glancing at them in my inbox before I hit the delete button.
All that ended last August 15th. Why? I didn't cancel my subscription voluntarily. It was weeks before I noticed I was no longer being kept up to speed about the government seizing control of all my financial accounts, or the growth of polytheism among Democrats. Did the WND notice that I occasionally made fun of them? That would mean someone was actually paying attention to me, which never happens, so I dismissed that possibility. Maybe someone just spilled some coffee on their server, and I was erased while they were mopping it up. Or maybe they noticed I never bought one of the hundreds of books and videos the WND offers to its readers, because they are written by the same people who compose headlines for the publication, headlines like "Disneyland Measles Part of Obama's Medical Genocide." With titles like that, you just know that the meat of the article is bound to be a letdown. You're not about to buy a whole book by that guy.
So I had to log on, and was relieved to see the WND hadn't changed much. A countdown banner has been added. On the day I viewed the site, it read "Bye-Bye Obama Countdown—718 Days Left—Can You Wait?" It appears that the WND is actually considering the possibility that the current President will leave office peacefully, instead of seizing power in a UN-inspired coup, then revealing himself as the Antichrist and imprisoning us all in Final Days FEMA camps.
It seems that the near-certainty that Obama is the Antichrist, a position held by the WND for 6+ years, is now wavering, or else the WND should be trumpeting that the Beast of Revelations, instead of hunkering down for a war for the soul of humanity, has been handily defeated by a constitutional amendment passed in 1951. No massed choruses of angels or battle of Armageddon will be necessary, as the Spawn of Satan, whose initials are B.O., has apparently decided to retire to Hawaii, with its gorgeous weather and plethora of golf courses, instead of opening the gates of Hell and letting loose the Horsemen of the Apocalypse upon this earth, thus postponing the turmoil, terror and frightening glory of the Last Days indefinitely.
Good decision. Of course, no one will give the man credit for it.
For those of you unfamiliar with the WND, it is a forum devoted to Sharia law and gay agenda resisting heavily armed white Christians fanatically behind the most right-wing politicians they can locate, who also share an undying devotion to the state of Israel, not so much because they care for Israelis but because they are constantly looking for events in the Middle East that presage the Second Coming, Final Judgment, the Rapture and the Apocalypse, which most of the WND's readers look confidently towards in a kind of continuous eschatological frenzy.
Why you would worry about minor political questions or how much ammunition you have in the shed when you are convinced that Jesus is coming in glory to assign you your outside table in eternity by the end of the weekend, at the latest, is a question the WND always leaves hanging.
During the time I was subscribed to the WND I received 362 email notices from them that urged me to read such news flashes as "War Cry of Allah Heard at White House," and "Homosexuals Wage Holy War on Israeli Village." While I didn't always click on the links, I felt better informed just by glancing at them in my inbox before I hit the delete button.
All that ended last August 15th. Why? I didn't cancel my subscription voluntarily. It was weeks before I noticed I was no longer being kept up to speed about the government seizing control of all my financial accounts, or the growth of polytheism among Democrats. Did the WND notice that I occasionally made fun of them? That would mean someone was actually paying attention to me, which never happens, so I dismissed that possibility. Maybe someone just spilled some coffee on their server, and I was erased while they were mopping it up. Or maybe they noticed I never bought one of the hundreds of books and videos the WND offers to its readers, because they are written by the same people who compose headlines for the publication, headlines like "Disneyland Measles Part of Obama's Medical Genocide." With titles like that, you just know that the meat of the article is bound to be a letdown. You're not about to buy a whole book by that guy.
So I had to log on, and was relieved to see the WND hadn't changed much. A countdown banner has been added. On the day I viewed the site, it read "Bye-Bye Obama Countdown—718 Days Left—Can You Wait?" It appears that the WND is actually considering the possibility that the current President will leave office peacefully, instead of seizing power in a UN-inspired coup, then revealing himself as the Antichrist and imprisoning us all in Final Days FEMA camps.
It seems that the near-certainty that Obama is the Antichrist, a position held by the WND for 6+ years, is now wavering, or else the WND should be trumpeting that the Beast of Revelations, instead of hunkering down for a war for the soul of humanity, has been handily defeated by a constitutional amendment passed in 1951. No massed choruses of angels or battle of Armageddon will be necessary, as the Spawn of Satan, whose initials are B.O., has apparently decided to retire to Hawaii, with its gorgeous weather and plethora of golf courses, instead of opening the gates of Hell and letting loose the Horsemen of the Apocalypse upon this earth, thus postponing the turmoil, terror and frightening glory of the Last Days indefinitely.
Good decision. Of course, no one will give the man credit for it.
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