If the Senator had publicly admitted taking mescaline regularly while sitting in his Senate chambers, the result for his personal reputation could not have been worse. Johnson himself admitted that he “might get in trouble,” for serving up this steaming plate of racist comfort food on a local radio show in his home state of Wisconsin.
Whether Johnson passed the afternoon of the Capitol riot in complete tranquility, confident that a bunch of armed, agitated drunks would not mistake him for Chuck Schumer and hang him accidentally, is known only to those who were hustled off to hide with him in the Senate basement. Perhaps he had a plan to save himself, if he had been confronted by the mob, even though that plan was probably to say, “You don’t want me. Mitt Romney is hiding in the closet over there.”
The mainstream media would have you believe that smearing your shit over the halls and walls of one of your country’s most iconic structures is not an act of surpassing patriotism and that spearing police officers does not show an abundance of respect for law enforcement, as long as you have a Blue Lives Matter flag attached to your deadly weapon. Luckily, we have Ron Johnson to set us straight on this matter. White people on a riotous rampage because their candidate lost the election are nothing to be afraid of because of their noble intentions, whereas black people protesting racial injustice need to be beaten and tear-gassed as soon as they assemble, because their real object is to murder elderly white people like Senator Johnson in their sleep.
Antifa's are the scary enemies of America, not Q-Anonies with their Walmart tasers and their adorable little pipe bombs. Their passionate desire to make this country a place where white people can do no wrong again is as pure as the snows that blanket Wisconsin in the winter, whereas calls for racial equality are just dog-whistles for letting minorities date your daughters and sit in your hunting blinds.
And, believe it or not, Johnson’s acknowledgement of his own curdling racism was just the second-dumbest statement from a public figure last week. Fox brisket-brain Tucker Carlson picked a fight with all the women of the US armed forces. That’s about 200,000 lethally-trained females who would like nothing better than to bitch-slap Carlson, who had better stay out of places like Applebee’s, where these women can afford to eat, for the foreseeable future. But if he does get the mauling he deserves, I just hope it’s the biggest, blackest, most transgendered serviceperson that exists that breaks through Tucker’s security cordon and gives it to him.
As the philosopher Bugs Bunny would say of either of these guys, “What a maroon.”