Tucker Carlson, highly-rated sputterer of senselessness, burst onto the nighttime cable waves last week with a major scoop about the US military covid vaccine mandate, claiming it was an effort by Joe Biden to weed “Christians and men with high testosterone” out of the US military.
Why Christians are particularly eager to get their numbers thinned by Covid is left to the imagination. Men with high testosterone are presumably ready to go to the mat with the virus at any time, sneering at death and being intubated on a respirator like any manly man should.
Carlson also claimed that the vaccine mandate was designed to weed out disobedient soldiers, although the military usually promotes the virtue of obedience, particularly in the arena of obeying orders, and one of the standing orders in the military is that its members take almost every vaccine ever formulated, including ones that aren’t even recommended for regular Americans unless they book a cruise up the most microbe-infested tributary of the Amazon.
Whether it’s taking a vaccine or a machine gun nest, the US military expects you to do what you’re told.
It is odd that Tucker should go on this rage-bender about testosterone, since even his biggest fans would hardly consider him a fount of male hormones. Nobody looks at Tucker, a downy-faced 50-something year old and says to themselves, “That dude is a walking test-fest. I would probably get a contact boner just by touching him.”
In fact, Tucker was recently accosted in a public by a man who identified him as “the worst human being in the world.” Tucker did not inflict a beat-down on his critic on the spot, as would any guy with an above-average amount of t coursing through his red-blooded American arteries would. He backed meekly away.
I mean, almost anybody who regularly appears on Fox looks like they could kick Tucker’s ass. Hannity, certainly. He’d stand a better chance with Laura Ingraham, but my money is still on Laura. Ann Coulter? Tucker would breathe his last underneath her sharpened hooves.
Geraldo? Ok, maybe he could take Geraldo.
There are certain people that belong on the high-testosterone pantheon on which Tucker longs to be placed himself. Hulk Hogan. Dwayne Johnson, although the Rock seems pretty affable for a guy who loses more testosterone when he clips his fingernails that Carlson will ever have in his whole life. Or UFC fighter Conor McGregor, who is so whopping full of testosterone that he has never said anything that didn’t get him in trouble in his entire career.
Hmmm…maybe I’m missing the point about Tucker.
Why Christians are particularly eager to get their numbers thinned by Covid is left to the imagination. Men with high testosterone are presumably ready to go to the mat with the virus at any time, sneering at death and being intubated on a respirator like any manly man should.
Carlson also claimed that the vaccine mandate was designed to weed out disobedient soldiers, although the military usually promotes the virtue of obedience, particularly in the arena of obeying orders, and one of the standing orders in the military is that its members take almost every vaccine ever formulated, including ones that aren’t even recommended for regular Americans unless they book a cruise up the most microbe-infested tributary of the Amazon.
Whether it’s taking a vaccine or a machine gun nest, the US military expects you to do what you’re told.
It is odd that Tucker should go on this rage-bender about testosterone, since even his biggest fans would hardly consider him a fount of male hormones. Nobody looks at Tucker, a downy-faced 50-something year old and says to themselves, “That dude is a walking test-fest. I would probably get a contact boner just by touching him.”
In fact, Tucker was recently accosted in a public by a man who identified him as “the worst human being in the world.” Tucker did not inflict a beat-down on his critic on the spot, as would any guy with an above-average amount of t coursing through his red-blooded American arteries would. He backed meekly away.
I mean, almost anybody who regularly appears on Fox looks like they could kick Tucker’s ass. Hannity, certainly. He’d stand a better chance with Laura Ingraham, but my money is still on Laura. Ann Coulter? Tucker would breathe his last underneath her sharpened hooves.
Geraldo? Ok, maybe he could take Geraldo.
There are certain people that belong on the high-testosterone pantheon on which Tucker longs to be placed himself. Hulk Hogan. Dwayne Johnson, although the Rock seems pretty affable for a guy who loses more testosterone when he clips his fingernails that Carlson will ever have in his whole life. Or UFC fighter Conor McGregor, who is so whopping full of testosterone that he has never said anything that didn’t get him in trouble in his entire career.
Hmmm…maybe I’m missing the point about Tucker.
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