Candace--lookin' sharp and talkin' smack. In as bizarre a talking point as any conceived this year, which means a level of bizarre that maybe even the James Webb Space Telescope couldn’t see from Earth, conservative snack Candace Owens, last featured here when she advocated an invasion of Australia, says the Former Guy should be forgiven for getting vaxxed and boosted because he’s “too old to understand the Internet.”
This was an attempt by Owens to get Trump back in good graces with the anti-vax droolers that make up a significant part of his base, even though Trump likes to take credit for inventing the vaccine. Sometimes he makes it sound like he donned a lab coat for it himself. Even Nixon didn’t take credit for the moon landing as if he tightened every bolt on Apollo 11 personally.
Bit of a weak point if you ask me—the guy is too old to type a search term in Google, but we’ll all only be safe if we give him back the nuclear football? Owens, the right-wing sweet thing, isn’t trying to say that, naturally. What she is saying is the former Caucasian-in-Chief doesn’t have the tech savvy to burrow past all the normal health, mainstream media and even the regular conservative web sites that blare headlines about the vaccines being safe and effective on the Net, and focus in on that one YouTube video featuring a retired chiropractor standing in front of a chart he drew in his garage that shows the vaccines ripping up your DNA like a possum going through your recycle bin.
The too-old-to-understand excuse is uncannily effective for almost everything Trump has ever done. Violated his oath of office? Print was too small for him to read it. Sent a band of yowling yokels to get all stabby and hangy at the Capitol? He put a stop to that as soon as he took a 3 ½ hour Ensure break. Can’t understand that he lost the election? Hey, old folks get confused. Fed the Constitution to that trash-can possum? Too many words in it.
Pushing women into closets and groping them? That was flowery romance, back in his day. Telling a porn star he just screwed she reminded him of his daughter? Well, better small talk than saying “My wife is a sex-worker, too,” right? Hanging out backstage at Miss Universe in his bathrobe? Old guys like nothing more than being comfortable.
I’m not as old as Trump, but I’m pressing on the doorbell of senior citizenship, and not just once and running away like a UPS guy, but repeatedly, so I’m all in on the Candace version of elder responsibility. Everything vile I’ve ever done is lost in the mists of old age, and any reality denying I want to do in the future must be benignly ignored.
Except I understand quite a bit about the Internet. Hope that doesn’t hold me back.
This was an attempt by Owens to get Trump back in good graces with the anti-vax droolers that make up a significant part of his base, even though Trump likes to take credit for inventing the vaccine. Sometimes he makes it sound like he donned a lab coat for it himself. Even Nixon didn’t take credit for the moon landing as if he tightened every bolt on Apollo 11 personally.
Bit of a weak point if you ask me—the guy is too old to type a search term in Google, but we’ll all only be safe if we give him back the nuclear football? Owens, the right-wing sweet thing, isn’t trying to say that, naturally. What she is saying is the former Caucasian-in-Chief doesn’t have the tech savvy to burrow past all the normal health, mainstream media and even the regular conservative web sites that blare headlines about the vaccines being safe and effective on the Net, and focus in on that one YouTube video featuring a retired chiropractor standing in front of a chart he drew in his garage that shows the vaccines ripping up your DNA like a possum going through your recycle bin.
The too-old-to-understand excuse is uncannily effective for almost everything Trump has ever done. Violated his oath of office? Print was too small for him to read it. Sent a band of yowling yokels to get all stabby and hangy at the Capitol? He put a stop to that as soon as he took a 3 ½ hour Ensure break. Can’t understand that he lost the election? Hey, old folks get confused. Fed the Constitution to that trash-can possum? Too many words in it.
Pushing women into closets and groping them? That was flowery romance, back in his day. Telling a porn star he just screwed she reminded him of his daughter? Well, better small talk than saying “My wife is a sex-worker, too,” right? Hanging out backstage at Miss Universe in his bathrobe? Old guys like nothing more than being comfortable.
I’m not as old as Trump, but I’m pressing on the doorbell of senior citizenship, and not just once and running away like a UPS guy, but repeatedly, so I’m all in on the Candace version of elder responsibility. Everything vile I’ve ever done is lost in the mists of old age, and any reality denying I want to do in the future must be benignly ignored.
Except I understand quite a bit about the Internet. Hope that doesn’t hold me back.
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