He did also thank Saudi Arabia for selling us oil at the highest possible price they can charge, and suggested that it is impossible to say who killed that journalist in Turkey. Maybe the Saudis, maybe some 400-pound guy sitting on his bed, maybe Aquaman. Who can say?
After the call, though, he expressed gratitude for himself. No Pilgrim tale of a peaceful dinner in the woods marred Trump’s Thanksgiving. No parade mattered, because no parade featured him, the dull orange center of the universe. He expressed gratitude for his family, which includes the above tone-deaf daughter, a son dumb enough to fall for a Russian spy-trap, and another son who he considers actually more stupid, and uglier, than the first two. As much as we hate to credit Trump for anything, he is probably right about that.
In truth, Trump being grateful for Trump was echoed around the nation, but probably around a smaller number of tables than last Thanksgiving, if the election returns are to be believed. Here, we had a betting pool on the moment that the turkey baking in the oven would turn the exact shade of Trump’s face.
After not quite getting around thanking the troops sitting in the dirt of the border on Thanksgiving to terrify his base about people who speak Spanish, he returned the subject to himself, bestowing honors on himself for the changes he has wrought on the nation, which he claimed to be positive, surging Nazis, merry pipe-bombers and a Democratic House that is poised to ream out his inner workings with a stuffing spoon notwithstanding.
Then he made the most short-sighted, dim-witted decision of a Presidency that has been littered almost daily with them, picking a fight with Chief Justice John Roberts, who might be the swing vote on the Supreme Court that can decide to let Mueller put him on the witness stand and deep-fry him like a Christmas turducken.
This thorough and convincing demonstration that the man who is supposed to be the guardian of us all does not even have the foresight to protect his own pale hiney ought to frighten every American.
But just maybe it will give us all something to be grateful for next Thanksgiving.