In an act similar to injecting saline solution into a deep puncture wound, Trump announced over the weekend that all of the federal workers currently not getting paid as a result of his hissy over his Wall will also not be getting their scheduled 2.1% pay raise this year.
Not getting a raise might not mean much to you if you’re not getting paid anyway is apparently Trump’s thinking behind this particular act of Scroogishness, but immediately liberal tears of anguish started flowing when Trump gave as his reason the state of the federal budget, which he said was ‘too tight’ to be throwing out a lot of pay raises like they were rolls of paper towels after a hurricane. Democrats immediately reminded Trump that he had just signed off on a 1.5 trillion pay hike for him and his fellow billionaires last year, which is the cause of the budget’s current woes.
Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, despite rumors that she will soon depart the White House for a spot on the professional pie-eating circuit, was nonetheless quick to respond to this criticism. “What this country doesn’t need right now is a lot of complaining by lazy government drones about not getting their pay adjusted for inflation, and blaming their situation on innocent members of the 1%. Billionaires don’t get their pay adjusted for inflation. When prices go up, they just have to go make another billion dollars.
“These federal workers just drift through life, buoyant on a sea of perpetual but tiny pay increases, while billionaires have to strive every day, contending with financial emergencies that ordinary people can’t even imagine, like some clumsy valet putting a dent in their Lamborghini or being married to Elizabeth Hurley. Do they come crying to the government for a few extra bucks in their paychecks? No, they just hunker down and bravely buy another sweatshop or politician, just crossing their fingers that when the sun comes up in the morning, they’ll still be awash in cash.
“Contrast this to the life of a typical federal worker, just working the gate at some pointless national park, getting paid whether anyone shows up there or not, and I’m sure you’ll agree that billionaires deserve our affections more. Whether they got our money by inventing something everybody needs but hates, like Bill Gates, or they just inherited a bunch of bucks and mineral leases on government land like the Koch boys, they’ve done everything in their power to deserve a tax break every year that consists of more money than everybody on the decrepit little street you live on will make in their entire lives. How can anybody disagree with that, unless they’re a member of the fake media, or a socialist that wants us to be just like Venezuela? Or that Occasionally-Cortez person, who wants people to have pay raises and health care? Unbelievable what people expect to get for the paltry few trillion dollars we have left after we take care of our billionaires!
"It's the Democrats and CNN that encourage people to expect something out of the government. Under this President and the Republican Party, that's going to end."
Not getting a raise might not mean much to you if you’re not getting paid anyway is apparently Trump’s thinking behind this particular act of Scroogishness, but immediately liberal tears of anguish started flowing when Trump gave as his reason the state of the federal budget, which he said was ‘too tight’ to be throwing out a lot of pay raises like they were rolls of paper towels after a hurricane. Democrats immediately reminded Trump that he had just signed off on a 1.5 trillion pay hike for him and his fellow billionaires last year, which is the cause of the budget’s current woes.
Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, despite rumors that she will soon depart the White House for a spot on the professional pie-eating circuit, was nonetheless quick to respond to this criticism. “What this country doesn’t need right now is a lot of complaining by lazy government drones about not getting their pay adjusted for inflation, and blaming their situation on innocent members of the 1%. Billionaires don’t get their pay adjusted for inflation. When prices go up, they just have to go make another billion dollars.
“These federal workers just drift through life, buoyant on a sea of perpetual but tiny pay increases, while billionaires have to strive every day, contending with financial emergencies that ordinary people can’t even imagine, like some clumsy valet putting a dent in their Lamborghini or being married to Elizabeth Hurley. Do they come crying to the government for a few extra bucks in their paychecks? No, they just hunker down and bravely buy another sweatshop or politician, just crossing their fingers that when the sun comes up in the morning, they’ll still be awash in cash.
“Contrast this to the life of a typical federal worker, just working the gate at some pointless national park, getting paid whether anyone shows up there or not, and I’m sure you’ll agree that billionaires deserve our affections more. Whether they got our money by inventing something everybody needs but hates, like Bill Gates, or they just inherited a bunch of bucks and mineral leases on government land like the Koch boys, they’ve done everything in their power to deserve a tax break every year that consists of more money than everybody on the decrepit little street you live on will make in their entire lives. How can anybody disagree with that, unless they’re a member of the fake media, or a socialist that wants us to be just like Venezuela? Or that Occasionally-Cortez person, who wants people to have pay raises and health care? Unbelievable what people expect to get for the paltry few trillion dollars we have left after we take care of our billionaires!
"It's the Democrats and CNN that encourage people to expect something out of the government. Under this President and the Republican Party, that's going to end."
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