Of course, there’s some doubt he knows how to behave around women he does want to have sex with, but that’s no help to the euro and to NATO.
The President also suffered by comparison by summiting with the boyishly handsome Prime Minister of Canada last month, an articulate man whom a neutral observer can’t help but noticing has way more natural skin and hair colors than Trump.
It’s not Trump’s fault that many of the nations of the world have thoughtful, responsible, occasionally photogenic leaders. These are people with whom Trump has nothing in common. What he needs to do is get out of the humdrum Presidential rut of meeting with democratically elected politicians. There’s a whole world of world leaders out there that Trump looks good in comparison with, murderous kleptocrats who rule over vast swaths of Asia and Africa, but one name stands out above all others.
Kim Jong Un.
A Trump-Un summit is a natural. These fellow national leaders have much in common. Both were given a hefty head start in life by their fathers, Trump to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars, while Un was bequeathed an entire dirt-poor nation.
Both men are tastefully overweight, although Trump rules over a nation of fat people and Un is the only fat guy North Korea can afford to feed.
Both have shitty hairstyles.
Both can launch missiles at Japan.
Trump once bragged he could shoot somebody in the middle of the street in broad daylight and not lose a single supporter. Un actually does shoot people whose support he suspects he has lost, in broad daylight, in the middle of a field, with anti-aircraft guns. Does he enjoy that? “Beats playing golf,” he is rumored to have said to close associates he hasn’t executed yet.
The eerie similarities don’t end there. Un encourages his people to starve. Trump has canceled Meals on Wheels and school lunches. Both are anti-immigration, although Trump wants to kill people coming into our country and Un kills people who are trying to escape his. Both have uneasy relationships with China, although Un entirely depends on the Chinese for his nation’s continued existence, while Trump only depends on Peking to manufacture almost everything his family sells.
A more cordial relationship with North Korea can be pioneered by Trump. After all, North Korea does not pose any threat to the United States apart from an unhinged desire to precipitate a world nuclear conflagration. There’s no chance of the People’s Republic starting a trade war with the US, since we already have plenty of its chief export, which is dust. And the Large Hadron Collider will be converted into a bowling alley before ISIS opens a branch office in Pyongyang.
Most importantly, Un will not make Trump look bad during any photo ops or joint press conferences. He will probably just emphasize his nation’s unique foreign policy, which could be put on a cardboard sign and held at an intersection, “WILL STOP ENRICHING URANIUM FOR FOOD.”
Trump can praise him as ‘the best,’ ‘fantastic,’ and ‘does a great job of murdering any relatives who might pose a threat to his power.”
It’s a win-win. Trump needs to meet a world leader who doesn’t make him look like a crabby know-nothing.
And North Korea could use a new hotel.