Predicted the future, died before it could happen. Him and the Mayans both. Losers.
Prestidigitation has always been a popular sport. The foretelling of the future is attempted every day by everyone who buys either stocks or health insurance. There have been famous seers in the past, like Nostradamus, who is said to have predicted many future occurrences, but if you research the guy's actual foretellings, you'll find they are couched in pretty vague terms, so they could apply to just about anything that could happen. Nothing really specific gets envisioned. For example, the Nostra-man never said, "On September 25, 2015, a man named John Boehner, whose name can be comically mispronounced "boner," will resign as Speaker of the US House of Representatives, leaving behind only a note saying 'F*ck all of you,' written on a cocktail napkin."
This is wisdom on the part of that ancient, because the one thing that can be said for certain about the future is that it is unknowable. Nobody can say for sure what will happen in it, but I'm willing to stake my reputation here on predicting things that won't happen, even though many people think they may. Here are twenty of them:
An "I don't care" button for Facebook
The race war
Most porn actresses
Final season of Game of Thrones anytime soon
Capri pants for men
The Trump Administration. Or the Cruz Administration. Or the Christie, Jindal, Paul, Fiorina et al Administrations. Especially the reign of Bush III. None of them. What a bunch of mentally forlorn ass-clowns. It's not even funny anymore.
FEMA death camps
A return to the gold standard
Benevolent aliens
Hostile aliens
Aliens who don't give a crap
Jesus
Something that will replace video games
People stopping telling you their mutt is a "rescue" because they don't want you to think they're too poor to spend a grand on a purebred dog with crippling genetic defects.
Monochrome Skittles
Cell phones that warn you when you ought to look up.
The Grope Cam
The President videoed at the White House chillaxing with a huge fattie.
People finally paying so much attention to Caitlyn Jenner that she shuts up and goes away.
The Keystone XL Pipeline
There you have it. Eat my dust, Nostra-D. You'll notice most of these are timed so that the verity of the foreseeing can be determined in the none-too-distant future. Most of the stuff you predicted was too far ahead for people to see if you were right or not until after you were dead, so you didn't get to be famous for it until then.
You think you would have predicted that.
This is wisdom on the part of that ancient, because the one thing that can be said for certain about the future is that it is unknowable. Nobody can say for sure what will happen in it, but I'm willing to stake my reputation here on predicting things that won't happen, even though many people think they may. Here are twenty of them:
An "I don't care" button for Facebook
The race war
Most porn actresses
Final season of Game of Thrones anytime soon
Capri pants for men
The Trump Administration. Or the Cruz Administration. Or the Christie, Jindal, Paul, Fiorina et al Administrations. Especially the reign of Bush III. None of them. What a bunch of mentally forlorn ass-clowns. It's not even funny anymore.
FEMA death camps
A return to the gold standard
Benevolent aliens
Hostile aliens
Aliens who don't give a crap
Jesus
Something that will replace video games
People stopping telling you their mutt is a "rescue" because they don't want you to think they're too poor to spend a grand on a purebred dog with crippling genetic defects.
Monochrome Skittles
Cell phones that warn you when you ought to look up.
The Grope Cam
The President videoed at the White House chillaxing with a huge fattie.
People finally paying so much attention to Caitlyn Jenner that she shuts up and goes away.
The Keystone XL Pipeline
There you have it. Eat my dust, Nostra-D. You'll notice most of these are timed so that the verity of the foreseeing can be determined in the none-too-distant future. Most of the stuff you predicted was too far ahead for people to see if you were right or not until after you were dead, so you didn't get to be famous for it until then.
You think you would have predicted that.
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