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Also, Jackson died before hairspray was invented
Caution--This post contains actual, semi-carefully researched facts. Read at your own risk.
Andrew Jackson was a decorated war hero, a veteran frontier fighter turned general who won the Battle of New Orleans during the War of 1812 (actually, he won it after the war was over, but you can’t blame him for that—they didn’t have Twitter then). Trump was a draft-dodger.
Jackson owned slaves—a lot of slaves, estimated at one-hundred-fifty. Trump just tried to keep black people from renting apartments from him, although the exact number of them prevented from having Trump as a landlord is unknown.
Jackson never suggested hard negotiations could have prevented the Civil War, because he was dead for it. Trump has wondered “Why did we have a Civil War?” Answer—IF WE HADN’T, WHAT KIND OF FLAGS WOULD YOUR SUPPORTERS HAVE TO WAVE AT YOUR RALLIES?
Jackson’s nickname was Old Hickory. Trump’s nicknames are too numerous to list here, but they include Agent Orange, The Lyin’ King, President Cheeto, The Orange Piece of Shit, Twitler, etc. Here’s a link to a recent list: http://www.thehypertexts.com/Donald%20Trump%20Nicknames.htm Please note that none of these nicknames compare him to a sturdy native hardwood tree, and we’re betting here Melania’s pet name for him doesn’t, either.
Jackson has his name on our money. Trump has a lot of our money in his name.
Jackson won the popular vote once but lost the Presidential election. Jackson was hugely popular and swept to a landslide victory in the next election. Trump lost the popular vote by the largest historical margin of anyone who ever won the Presidency. Why can’t I think of anything funny to say about this? Because it’s not.
Jackson wanted to abolish the Electoral College. If he had succeeded, Trump would never have become President. Trump loves the EC almost as much as he loves cruise missiles, cake and pussy.
Jackson presided over the forced relocation of Native Americans from their native lands to the plains of Oklahoma, over a route aptly named the Trail of Tears, partly because, having picked numerous fights with them, Jackson just hated Native Americans. Trump hates Indians, too, but just because they own competing casinos.
Jackson didn’t start running for President again 100 days into his term in office because he did not enjoy running for President more than being President.
Jackson was re-elected.
Andrew Jackson was a decorated war hero, a veteran frontier fighter turned general who won the Battle of New Orleans during the War of 1812 (actually, he won it after the war was over, but you can’t blame him for that—they didn’t have Twitter then). Trump was a draft-dodger.
Jackson owned slaves—a lot of slaves, estimated at one-hundred-fifty. Trump just tried to keep black people from renting apartments from him, although the exact number of them prevented from having Trump as a landlord is unknown.
Jackson never suggested hard negotiations could have prevented the Civil War, because he was dead for it. Trump has wondered “Why did we have a Civil War?” Answer—IF WE HADN’T, WHAT KIND OF FLAGS WOULD YOUR SUPPORTERS HAVE TO WAVE AT YOUR RALLIES?
Jackson’s nickname was Old Hickory. Trump’s nicknames are too numerous to list here, but they include Agent Orange, The Lyin’ King, President Cheeto, The Orange Piece of Shit, Twitler, etc. Here’s a link to a recent list: http://www.thehypertexts.com/Donald%20Trump%20Nicknames.htm Please note that none of these nicknames compare him to a sturdy native hardwood tree, and we’re betting here Melania’s pet name for him doesn’t, either.
Jackson has his name on our money. Trump has a lot of our money in his name.
Jackson won the popular vote once but lost the Presidential election. Jackson was hugely popular and swept to a landslide victory in the next election. Trump lost the popular vote by the largest historical margin of anyone who ever won the Presidency. Why can’t I think of anything funny to say about this? Because it’s not.
Jackson wanted to abolish the Electoral College. If he had succeeded, Trump would never have become President. Trump loves the EC almost as much as he loves cruise missiles, cake and pussy.
Jackson presided over the forced relocation of Native Americans from their native lands to the plains of Oklahoma, over a route aptly named the Trail of Tears, partly because, having picked numerous fights with them, Jackson just hated Native Americans. Trump hates Indians, too, but just because they own competing casinos.
Jackson didn’t start running for President again 100 days into his term in office because he did not enjoy running for President more than being President.
Jackson was re-elected.
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