What's with the tie? Everybody’s hating Trump nowadays, with his disapproval rating pushing 62% in the Gallup. But, think to yourself--are you hating him for the right reasons, or are you just following the herd? Anyone can hate the Caucasian-in-Chief for his policies, his personality, or his naked lying about nearly everything, but to be truly outre, you have to have a unique reason for your disdain of Trump. Even ex-Presidents can’t get it right, as when Bush the First called him a ‘blowhard’ over the weekend. Sure, he’s a blowhard. But he’s also a chucklehead, a shit-for-brains, a dickless wonder and a shameless rectum. HW didn’t cover that ground, probably because he’s 93 and has forgotten a lot of the best and rudest slurs out there.
You can hate Trump for purely personal reasons. If you’re not white, American and English speaking, or a banker in Moscow, he probably dislikes you already, so you might as well return serve on that ill-will. If you’re a war widow he insulted, you’re not the only one. If you work for or with him and he’s hung you out to dry, you’re probably already fantasizing about cutting the top off of his preserved skull and making it into a goblet. Or an ashtray. Mitch McConnell has, I guarantee you.
But you’re unique and different. You can’t just hate Trump for the same reasons everybody else does. Just him wanting to take away everybody’s health insurance, or his willingness to start WWIII to distract us from his son’s dumbassery isn’t cool enough for you. You need a fashionable reason to detest the Dotard in Chief, one that Tim Gunn would be proud of.
You’re in luck; here’s ten of them.
He has only one passport, unless he’s got a Russian one, too.
Has lied about his pecker size on the record.
Says he suspects all Muslims, but sword-dances with them every chance he gets.
Doesn’t know how to tie a tie. How often does it get caught in his zipper, for God’s sake?
Fossil fuels never prevented him from raping anybody.
Flaps his ears with his fingertips every time he talks to Jeff Sessions.
Provides scientific proof that the shithead gene is dominant every time he fathers a child.
Thinks taco bowls are real Mexican food.
He hates dogs, probably because dogs hate him. Dogs know.
Favorite thing? His collection of up-skirt pics of Ivanka.
You can hate Trump for purely personal reasons. If you’re not white, American and English speaking, or a banker in Moscow, he probably dislikes you already, so you might as well return serve on that ill-will. If you’re a war widow he insulted, you’re not the only one. If you work for or with him and he’s hung you out to dry, you’re probably already fantasizing about cutting the top off of his preserved skull and making it into a goblet. Or an ashtray. Mitch McConnell has, I guarantee you.
But you’re unique and different. You can’t just hate Trump for the same reasons everybody else does. Just him wanting to take away everybody’s health insurance, or his willingness to start WWIII to distract us from his son’s dumbassery isn’t cool enough for you. You need a fashionable reason to detest the Dotard in Chief, one that Tim Gunn would be proud of.
You’re in luck; here’s ten of them.
He has only one passport, unless he’s got a Russian one, too.
Has lied about his pecker size on the record.
Says he suspects all Muslims, but sword-dances with them every chance he gets.
Doesn’t know how to tie a tie. How often does it get caught in his zipper, for God’s sake?
Fossil fuels never prevented him from raping anybody.
Flaps his ears with his fingertips every time he talks to Jeff Sessions.
Provides scientific proof that the shithead gene is dominant every time he fathers a child.
Thinks taco bowls are real Mexican food.
He hates dogs, probably because dogs hate him. Dogs know.
Favorite thing? His collection of up-skirt pics of Ivanka.
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