Being too hot to enter data is being too hot, indeed. Lauren says the real problem was her ultra-Orthodox Jewish employers. Orthodox Jews, like Muslims and Mennonites, have very clear ideas on proper dress for females and are entitled to them, no matter how boring and repressive those ideas seem to the rest of us.The problem with these particular moral absolutists is that they operate a factory called "Native Intimates" that makes risqué lingerie for women, so Lauren was fired for wearing clothing that was less revealing than the stuff the factory manufactures.
Lauren, who is Jewish herself, claims she was ordered to "tape down her breasts" (To what? Her desk?) and forced to wear a fuzzy red bathrobe decorated with little guitars over her tight-fitting mini-dress.
Let this be a lesson to all of you young job-seekers in this tough economy. If you see your potential boss has a red bathrobe decorated with musical instruments hanging in his or her office, get the hell out of there.
Despite donning the robe as ordered, Lauren was fired just days after she started heaving her bosoms around the otherwise chaste factory floor where her more suitably modest co-workers were busy churning out filmy little G-strings, scanty panties with smutty messages inscribed in the crotch and other porn-film regalia.
This is like Yum Yum Donuts firing a woman because they decided she looked like she enjoyed donuts.
Despite this apparent raging hypocrisy on the part of her employers, this is the luckiest break of Lauren's hot life. Instead of being forced to dangle from a stripper pole or sling chili fries at Hooters or endure some other entry-level hot woman job, she can move right into the rarified echelons of hot womanhood by posing for Hustler, getting her own reality TV show or marrying Donald Trump or Rush Limbaugh.
Which raises the question of why she was doing data entry in the first place? Is Lauren too modest to be hot? As noted above, there are many, many job opportunities for the hot, ranging from slithering on car hoods in bikinis to being John Edward's girlfriend. Did she look at her (allegedly) sumptuous breasts every morning in the mirror and think to herself "I need to sit in a cubicle all day punching at a keyboard, so the whole world will not think of me as being just another set of magnificent mom glands?"
If that's the case, Lauren, it's time for Plan B. I'm sure you're going to miss all the guys at the factory who claimed working with you was too distracting, thereby demonstrating that they have more candy in their asses than Hershey's makes in a year. The only downside you have to endure is the hundreds of comments on your story on the Internet, most of which are from guys who claim that you are not as hot as you think you are.
Rise above it, Lauren. Remember, if these guys actually had a woman they wouldn't have the time to doubt your hotness in cyberspace. Tell them to get a life, or maybe just a job.
Let them know there's a place in Jersey that needs at least one employee.