My special lady and myself were discussing prayer the other day, which was highly unusual for us, since I never pray at all, for reasons I have outlined here, and I never catch her praying either, if she does. I think it began by me questioning the theological underpinnings of Indiana's new gay-shaming law by saying "If it's their strong faith that's convinced Indiana businessmen that God doesn't want them to be civil to gays, why do they need a law? Why don't they just pray that He doesn't send them any gay customers?
So we started talking about prayer, which was pretty much like us talking about spring temperatures on Neptune, in terms of our actual knowledge on the subject, but as we were chatting, my girl said she had heard of a double-blind experiment conducted some years back which showed that extremely sick people who were prayed over had a better chance of recovery than those who were not.
She said this in a tone that brooked no debate as to the existence of such a conclusive experiment. And really, debating whether it did or not exist would not have done me any good, since she has a PhD and I do not, which means, according to her, that anything she read decades ago and vaguely remembers is much more likely to be factual than anything I remember, say, or think, ever.
"So why not just Google it, dude, and destroy her logically?" I can hear my critics saying that. Believe me, it is a bad idea. If you develop the habit of Googling your loved one's statements to prove she doesn't know what she's talking about, you will never have peace in your home, let alone sex, at least until you paint a bathroom or buy a sofa, or do something else expensive, filthy, time-consuming or all three to prove to her that you have sincerely realized the error of your ways in pointing out the error of hers.
So I said, "You're telling me that the patients who were prayed over lived and got better?"
"Yes," she said confidently.
"And the other patients suffered even more and eventually passed away?"
"You got it."
"I don't see where that proves the power of prayer at all," I said.
She looked at me as if I possessed no more scientific insight than a big tablespoon of bacon bits. "But the people who were being prayed over recovered."
"Sure, but probably not without lifelong scars and monstrous hospital bills to pay off. But the people who were not being prayed over DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN! I mean, talk about a better outcome!"
She's still not speaking to me.
So we started talking about prayer, which was pretty much like us talking about spring temperatures on Neptune, in terms of our actual knowledge on the subject, but as we were chatting, my girl said she had heard of a double-blind experiment conducted some years back which showed that extremely sick people who were prayed over had a better chance of recovery than those who were not.
She said this in a tone that brooked no debate as to the existence of such a conclusive experiment. And really, debating whether it did or not exist would not have done me any good, since she has a PhD and I do not, which means, according to her, that anything she read decades ago and vaguely remembers is much more likely to be factual than anything I remember, say, or think, ever.
"So why not just Google it, dude, and destroy her logically?" I can hear my critics saying that. Believe me, it is a bad idea. If you develop the habit of Googling your loved one's statements to prove she doesn't know what she's talking about, you will never have peace in your home, let alone sex, at least until you paint a bathroom or buy a sofa, or do something else expensive, filthy, time-consuming or all three to prove to her that you have sincerely realized the error of your ways in pointing out the error of hers.
So I said, "You're telling me that the patients who were prayed over lived and got better?"
"Yes," she said confidently.
"And the other patients suffered even more and eventually passed away?"
"You got it."
"I don't see where that proves the power of prayer at all," I said.
She looked at me as if I possessed no more scientific insight than a big tablespoon of bacon bits. "But the people who were being prayed over recovered."
"Sure, but probably not without lifelong scars and monstrous hospital bills to pay off. But the people who were not being prayed over DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN! I mean, talk about a better outcome!"
She's still not speaking to me.
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