Kate wearing punishment hat
It has been a difficult month for the British royal family, with the Queen's corgi dying and most of its interesting members being photographed naked.
The dog's death was not unexpected. A new puppy was immediately presented to the monarch and witnesses reported that they could see a steely glint in the Queen's octogenarian eyes as she silently resolved to outlive that creature as well.
"It's the same way she looks at Prince Charles," the sources said.
The younger members of the family were busy being photographed without their clothes on. Prince Harry plunged naked into a swimming pool in Las Vegas and a half-dozen or so naked girls jumped in with him. Photos were taken of the whole naked affair.
I wish I had this effect on girls. When I jump naked into a swimming pool, no girls strip off their clothes and jump in with me. All I get are threats to call the police and invitations to leave, along with very forceful suggestions that I get my own swimming pool.
Prince Harry was shipped off to Afghanistan as punsihment, where the Taliban promptly promised to kill him, as the Quran apparently orders death for skinny-dipping. This is why most members of the Taliban look like they have never completely submerged their bodies in water in their entire lives.
Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, the future King's main squeeze, was photographed being topless in France. Kate was not bounding in and out of a swimming pool; these photos were taken at a satellite-like distance by a member of the paparazzi. France, if you are not familiar with it, is where British people go to experience nice weather. All French women take their tops off at the first glint of sunshine. That is why the British are scandalized by Kate; not because she was frolicking nude with her husband, but because she was acting like she was French.
As punishment, the Queen is making her wear a hat specifically designed to attract insects (see above).
The question is, why would anyone want to check out the royal set, as opposed to lingering over any other image of mammaries? Because if there's one thing you can find on the Internet, it's boobs. Run any search for any dignified or slang term for breasts—bust, rack, tits, teats, knobs, funbags, gazooms, hooters (you may also get a menu with that one) and you will get more hits than you can possibly check out in a lifetime. And not a corgi lifetime, either. If you really have time on your hands, add an adjective (big, augmented, small, black, teenage, Swedish, ginormous) and the images will multiply exponentially. This is due to the First Law of the Cyber-Age, which has been noted here before, and which is as follows:
ALL NAKED PICTURES WILL EVENTUALLY END UP ON THE INTERNET.
This law is retroactive to prehistory. If you don't believe me, check out the link here.
The dog's death was not unexpected. A new puppy was immediately presented to the monarch and witnesses reported that they could see a steely glint in the Queen's octogenarian eyes as she silently resolved to outlive that creature as well.
"It's the same way she looks at Prince Charles," the sources said.
The younger members of the family were busy being photographed without their clothes on. Prince Harry plunged naked into a swimming pool in Las Vegas and a half-dozen or so naked girls jumped in with him. Photos were taken of the whole naked affair.
I wish I had this effect on girls. When I jump naked into a swimming pool, no girls strip off their clothes and jump in with me. All I get are threats to call the police and invitations to leave, along with very forceful suggestions that I get my own swimming pool.
Prince Harry was shipped off to Afghanistan as punsihment, where the Taliban promptly promised to kill him, as the Quran apparently orders death for skinny-dipping. This is why most members of the Taliban look like they have never completely submerged their bodies in water in their entire lives.
Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, the future King's main squeeze, was photographed being topless in France. Kate was not bounding in and out of a swimming pool; these photos were taken at a satellite-like distance by a member of the paparazzi. France, if you are not familiar with it, is where British people go to experience nice weather. All French women take their tops off at the first glint of sunshine. That is why the British are scandalized by Kate; not because she was frolicking nude with her husband, but because she was acting like she was French.
As punishment, the Queen is making her wear a hat specifically designed to attract insects (see above).
The question is, why would anyone want to check out the royal set, as opposed to lingering over any other image of mammaries? Because if there's one thing you can find on the Internet, it's boobs. Run any search for any dignified or slang term for breasts—bust, rack, tits, teats, knobs, funbags, gazooms, hooters (you may also get a menu with that one) and you will get more hits than you can possibly check out in a lifetime. And not a corgi lifetime, either. If you really have time on your hands, add an adjective (big, augmented, small, black, teenage, Swedish, ginormous) and the images will multiply exponentially. This is due to the First Law of the Cyber-Age, which has been noted here before, and which is as follows:
ALL NAKED PICTURES WILL EVENTUALLY END UP ON THE INTERNET.
This law is retroactive to prehistory. If you don't believe me, check out the link here.
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