Better write something about Roy Moore this Monday since it’s not certain he is going to be in the Senate Wednesday morning and he’s likely to be utterly forgotten if he’s not, because, unlike Al Franken, he has zero comedic talent to fall back on.
Of course, he could win. The voters of the state of Alabama could easily decide that having a child molester representing them would be better than having the Antichrist, which any Democrat can be conveniently viewed as after a couple of hours of viewing FOX News.
Whether the Judge would be welcomed by the rest of the Senate enthusiastically is doubtful. Particularly, the lady Democrats in that august body might be reluctant to shake the same hand that the Judge has been using to guide the fingers of underage girls into his tightie whities.
But it’s plain that one man in DC would proudly shake that hand, and maybe not even wash it afterwards. I speak, of course, of the Pussy Grabber-in Chief, a man whose short fingers have been in many places they were not welcome. Because in this Year of One AT (after Trump) one thing has become certain about our politics.
It’s all about the pussy.
The lesson we have learned from the past month is that Democrats want their politicians to keep their hands to themselves, while Republicans want their candidates to have a résumé in digging for clam.
Or going for the gusto, as it’s sometimes called. Cupping cootchie. Seizing snatch. Feeling up the fur biscuit.
Oh, yeah. Bet you can tell we've been in a locker room or two.
This is necessary for Republicans, because they are the party of family values, and many times the most valued member of a family is the one that really knows how to help himself to a slice of hair pie. Whether he keeps that talent in-house, or branches out to fondle the public at large is optional for him, but he is a bulwark against abortion and homosexuality, so you need to tolerate his mitt on your muffin, even if he was mistaken in his belief that you were hoping for a groping.
Of course, here in California we allow the girls to make up their own minds about abortion, and we embrace our gay neighbors because they help keep our property values insanely high, so we wouldn’t be inclined to vote for the Judge. And we have two lady Senators, both of whom may have contingency plans to wear hazmat gear when they go to work on Wednesday.
But that all depends on Alabama.
Of course, he could win. The voters of the state of Alabama could easily decide that having a child molester representing them would be better than having the Antichrist, which any Democrat can be conveniently viewed as after a couple of hours of viewing FOX News.
Whether the Judge would be welcomed by the rest of the Senate enthusiastically is doubtful. Particularly, the lady Democrats in that august body might be reluctant to shake the same hand that the Judge has been using to guide the fingers of underage girls into his tightie whities.
But it’s plain that one man in DC would proudly shake that hand, and maybe not even wash it afterwards. I speak, of course, of the Pussy Grabber-in Chief, a man whose short fingers have been in many places they were not welcome. Because in this Year of One AT (after Trump) one thing has become certain about our politics.
It’s all about the pussy.
The lesson we have learned from the past month is that Democrats want their politicians to keep their hands to themselves, while Republicans want their candidates to have a résumé in digging for clam.
Or going for the gusto, as it’s sometimes called. Cupping cootchie. Seizing snatch. Feeling up the fur biscuit.
Oh, yeah. Bet you can tell we've been in a locker room or two.
This is necessary for Republicans, because they are the party of family values, and many times the most valued member of a family is the one that really knows how to help himself to a slice of hair pie. Whether he keeps that talent in-house, or branches out to fondle the public at large is optional for him, but he is a bulwark against abortion and homosexuality, so you need to tolerate his mitt on your muffin, even if he was mistaken in his belief that you were hoping for a groping.
Of course, here in California we allow the girls to make up their own minds about abortion, and we embrace our gay neighbors because they help keep our property values insanely high, so we wouldn’t be inclined to vote for the Judge. And we have two lady Senators, both of whom may have contingency plans to wear hazmat gear when they go to work on Wednesday.
But that all depends on Alabama.
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