Fashion makes the news again this week as Tim Gunn, whose contribution to Western civilization consists of mentoring contestants on the reality show "Project Runway," took Hilary Clinton to task for her habit of wearing pantsuits, accusing the Secretary of State of "gender confusion on "Lopez Tonight."
Gunn, a smarmy gay man and self-appointed arbiter of fashion, pictured in this link wearing stripes with checks (which must be fine now because he's doing it) also mentioned Clinton's "cankles." Anybody who's ever had brunch at a gay bar, as this writer has, knows that male homosexuals know gender confusion inside and out, so it would be pointless to argue that with Mr. Gunn. However, it's apparent that he's holding Clinton to a far higher standard than most male politicians, whose dress habits are never mentioned at all. Gunn could at least make a few devastatingly snotty remarks about them, in the interest of gender equality. He could tell Eric Cantor to drop the seminarian glasses for example, or remind Joe Biden that he looks like everybody's horny old uncle every time he takes off his tie.
And those are only the American politicians. Clinton deals on a regular basis with world leaders who usually wear man-dresses and pillbox hats. These are clear markers for gender confusion, and the fact that most of them like to hold automatic weapons while wearing their caftans is plainly a mask for their insecurities, but neither their hemlines nor their headgear are ever mentioned by Mr. Gunn.
The Dalai Lama, whose cell phone number Ms. Clinton must surely possess, wears an orange bathrobe at most public functions. Gunn has never been heard to criticize His Holiness for wearing a bathrobe out of the house, let alone one in so questionable a fashion hue.
We're not even going to start in on the Pope. Point made. What is even more newsworthy is Gunn's mention of the Secretary's"cankles." Does this mean that, in the Gunn worldview, international leaders should only be selected from among the physically flawless? Should Megan Fox immediately be called upon to replace Hilary?
Hell, yeah! Allah be praised! I can hear those leaders in the guy-gowns saying that now, but shouldn't we consider letting Clinton get cankle surgery before she's let go? Maybe not, because once we start in on her, there's bound to be a rush to America's plastic surgery centers by politicians of every stripe. John Boehner? Those bags under his eyes look like they ought to have "Samsonite" stamped on them. Mitch McConnell? Is there a surgical solution for a man whose boneless face looks more like that of the Michelin Tire Man than any non-cartoon person?
Is it time for Obama to get the ear reduction that Bush so strenuously resisted? What about those who want his job? Can surgery help Michelle Bachmann, the Stepford Wife of the Republican Right, look human? Wouldn't Sarah Palin look even more Presidential with extravagantly augmented breasts? Once he gets gastric bypass surgery, there's nothing to prevent Newt Gingrich from getting elected President except his past, his ideas and his personality.
But why bother? This writer doesn't see the point in patching up any of these tired old hacks once this logical leap is made: Tim Gunn for President! He's got the wardrobe, the presence, the reality show background, the fantastically disciplined hair and at least one Hispanic vote (George Lopez) in his pocket.
He's the gay Mitt Romney. Get the buttons printed up now, in a tasteful color.
Gunn, a smarmy gay man and self-appointed arbiter of fashion, pictured in this link wearing stripes with checks (which must be fine now because he's doing it) also mentioned Clinton's "cankles." Anybody who's ever had brunch at a gay bar, as this writer has, knows that male homosexuals know gender confusion inside and out, so it would be pointless to argue that with Mr. Gunn. However, it's apparent that he's holding Clinton to a far higher standard than most male politicians, whose dress habits are never mentioned at all. Gunn could at least make a few devastatingly snotty remarks about them, in the interest of gender equality. He could tell Eric Cantor to drop the seminarian glasses for example, or remind Joe Biden that he looks like everybody's horny old uncle every time he takes off his tie.
And those are only the American politicians. Clinton deals on a regular basis with world leaders who usually wear man-dresses and pillbox hats. These are clear markers for gender confusion, and the fact that most of them like to hold automatic weapons while wearing their caftans is plainly a mask for their insecurities, but neither their hemlines nor their headgear are ever mentioned by Mr. Gunn.
The Dalai Lama, whose cell phone number Ms. Clinton must surely possess, wears an orange bathrobe at most public functions. Gunn has never been heard to criticize His Holiness for wearing a bathrobe out of the house, let alone one in so questionable a fashion hue.
We're not even going to start in on the Pope. Point made. What is even more newsworthy is Gunn's mention of the Secretary's"cankles." Does this mean that, in the Gunn worldview, international leaders should only be selected from among the physically flawless? Should Megan Fox immediately be called upon to replace Hilary?
Hell, yeah! Allah be praised! I can hear those leaders in the guy-gowns saying that now, but shouldn't we consider letting Clinton get cankle surgery before she's let go? Maybe not, because once we start in on her, there's bound to be a rush to America's plastic surgery centers by politicians of every stripe. John Boehner? Those bags under his eyes look like they ought to have "Samsonite" stamped on them. Mitch McConnell? Is there a surgical solution for a man whose boneless face looks more like that of the Michelin Tire Man than any non-cartoon person?
Is it time for Obama to get the ear reduction that Bush so strenuously resisted? What about those who want his job? Can surgery help Michelle Bachmann, the Stepford Wife of the Republican Right, look human? Wouldn't Sarah Palin look even more Presidential with extravagantly augmented breasts? Once he gets gastric bypass surgery, there's nothing to prevent Newt Gingrich from getting elected President except his past, his ideas and his personality.
But why bother? This writer doesn't see the point in patching up any of these tired old hacks once this logical leap is made: Tim Gunn for President! He's got the wardrobe, the presence, the reality show background, the fantastically disciplined hair and at least one Hispanic vote (George Lopez) in his pocket.
He's the gay Mitt Romney. Get the buttons printed up now, in a tasteful color.
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