Current Hillary Clinton advisor John Podesta said last week that his deepest regret when working in Bill Clinton's, then Obama's White House is that he did not get to tell the truth about UFO's and now that he's working on putting a second Clinton on Pennsylvania avenue, he's going to stay clammed up about what he knows.
What this means is that the flying saucer news is not good. Presumably every President since Truman has known that we are not alone in the Universe, and that taxpayer money is used to keep alien corpses frozen in Area 51. None of them has thought the general public could handle the news, which means the aliens are a problem. They are not lovable ET types, out to save humanity by installing world peace, stopping global warming, or even landing at major population centers to give out live-forever pills and flying cars. They are up to something unpleasant, or are just unpleasant themselves.
I've always been a skeptic about UFO's, mostly because of the distance between Earth and other places in the galaxy. The longest most of us have ever been crammed into a metal tube and launched at great speed to another destination is flying in an airplane, and the longest airplane flight on the planet is over the Pacific Ocean. Now, to use one of those quizzes that Neil deGrasse Tyson types love, if we think of the galaxy as being the size of the Sahara desert, the Pacific Ocean would be the size of:
a. A camel
b. A flea
c. A drop of sweat in one of that flea's armpits.
The correct answer is "c." To get to the nearest star while flying in anything Boeing makes would take about six hundred thousand years. That's a long time to sit with your tray table locked and your seat in the full upright position. You could probably read everything on the Internet before the captain even turned off the seat belt light.
"Wait a minute," you say. "How do we know UFO's are coming from outer space at all? Maybe they're visitors from our own future, or they come flying out of volcanoes, or they originate in a parallel universe?"
To which I say, is any of that good news? In the future the human race will have evolved into a bunch of small, pale, bald beings with gigantic eyes and big splayed fingers? That could easily happen—it's a possible consequence of countless human generations doing nothing but stare at and tap on their cell phones for the next million years or so, but it's nothing we want to find out.
If you lived in a volcano, once you came flying out, you'd stay out. Trust me on that. And the parallel universe theory is the ookiest one of all. That would mean we were surrounded at all times by invisible, creepy aliens just dying to warp space and time long enough to stick a probe in us while we're soaping up in the shower. No wonder Obama is keeping that on the down low.
No, they would have to come from space. And revealing their existence means there would be a clamor to build a Space Border Wall to keep them out. The politicians want to avoid that.
I suppose we maybe couldn't trust foreign leaders to keep their mouths shut about the aliens if we told them, but it could still be a useful foreign policy tool. If we told Putin the aliens were on their way to Earth to steal the oceans and mutate us all into house pets for their children, he might lend us a couple of his mobile H-bombs to lob at them. Or we could confide to ISIS that every single alien spaceship that has crash-landed in the American Southwest had a crude cartoon of Muhammad scrawled onto its mystery metal exterior. That might re-direct their energies.
Or maybe the government knows the aliens would tell us the secret of the Universe, and that secret is that there is no God, Jesus, Muhammad or Shiva and that nobody knows anything for sure, and that we're all just here.
In that case, you can see why Podesta would keep it to himself.
On the other hand, the New England Patriots just won the Super Bowl despite being a bunch of known cheaters, and all their fans were cheering and gloating and lording it over the rest of us in their annoying Wicked Tuna accents until they got eighteen feet of snow dumped on them.
That shut them up, and could be evidence that there may be a God after all.
What this means is that the flying saucer news is not good. Presumably every President since Truman has known that we are not alone in the Universe, and that taxpayer money is used to keep alien corpses frozen in Area 51. None of them has thought the general public could handle the news, which means the aliens are a problem. They are not lovable ET types, out to save humanity by installing world peace, stopping global warming, or even landing at major population centers to give out live-forever pills and flying cars. They are up to something unpleasant, or are just unpleasant themselves.
I've always been a skeptic about UFO's, mostly because of the distance between Earth and other places in the galaxy. The longest most of us have ever been crammed into a metal tube and launched at great speed to another destination is flying in an airplane, and the longest airplane flight on the planet is over the Pacific Ocean. Now, to use one of those quizzes that Neil deGrasse Tyson types love, if we think of the galaxy as being the size of the Sahara desert, the Pacific Ocean would be the size of:
a. A camel
b. A flea
c. A drop of sweat in one of that flea's armpits.
The correct answer is "c." To get to the nearest star while flying in anything Boeing makes would take about six hundred thousand years. That's a long time to sit with your tray table locked and your seat in the full upright position. You could probably read everything on the Internet before the captain even turned off the seat belt light.
"Wait a minute," you say. "How do we know UFO's are coming from outer space at all? Maybe they're visitors from our own future, or they come flying out of volcanoes, or they originate in a parallel universe?"
To which I say, is any of that good news? In the future the human race will have evolved into a bunch of small, pale, bald beings with gigantic eyes and big splayed fingers? That could easily happen—it's a possible consequence of countless human generations doing nothing but stare at and tap on their cell phones for the next million years or so, but it's nothing we want to find out.
If you lived in a volcano, once you came flying out, you'd stay out. Trust me on that. And the parallel universe theory is the ookiest one of all. That would mean we were surrounded at all times by invisible, creepy aliens just dying to warp space and time long enough to stick a probe in us while we're soaping up in the shower. No wonder Obama is keeping that on the down low.
No, they would have to come from space. And revealing their existence means there would be a clamor to build a Space Border Wall to keep them out. The politicians want to avoid that.
I suppose we maybe couldn't trust foreign leaders to keep their mouths shut about the aliens if we told them, but it could still be a useful foreign policy tool. If we told Putin the aliens were on their way to Earth to steal the oceans and mutate us all into house pets for their children, he might lend us a couple of his mobile H-bombs to lob at them. Or we could confide to ISIS that every single alien spaceship that has crash-landed in the American Southwest had a crude cartoon of Muhammad scrawled onto its mystery metal exterior. That might re-direct their energies.
Or maybe the government knows the aliens would tell us the secret of the Universe, and that secret is that there is no God, Jesus, Muhammad or Shiva and that nobody knows anything for sure, and that we're all just here.
In that case, you can see why Podesta would keep it to himself.
On the other hand, the New England Patriots just won the Super Bowl despite being a bunch of known cheaters, and all their fans were cheering and gloating and lording it over the rest of us in their annoying Wicked Tuna accents until they got eighteen feet of snow dumped on them.
That shut them up, and could be evidence that there may be a God after all.
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