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Lamar was right. I wouldn't miss 'em
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It is now legal to have yourself killed in California. Our Governor Retread signed a bill into law which permits terminally ill people to get a prescription from a doctor which will allow them to jump the turnstile at the Tunnel of Light, so to speak.
Fewer people are leaping at that chance than some of us might like. The only member of the Kardashian and Jenner clans to attempt to kill himself since the bill was passed was one of their husbands, Lamar Odom. The Kardashian-Jenners, in the unlikely event that you are unfamiliar with them, are a closely-related group of mostly young women with an explosive talent for posting pictures of themselves in their underwear on Instagram, and one old guy famous for turning himself into an old woman on TV.
The family has been augmented recently by the coming of age of Kylie and Kendall. Having recently upped their mommie count from one to two hasn't stopped them from being conventionally selfish, rich and nasty.
Now, you may think to yourself, Richard, aren't you being overly optimistic in thinking that this family, living lives of bloated celebrity all, would choose to kill themselves just because it's legal now? Sure, I think they realize that we all feel a little dead inside when we so much as glimpse one of their shows while we're surfing cable channels because that's all we can afford to do instead of buying expensive clothes every day that we can slip out of so we can take butt-selfies and put them on the Internet every night like the born and raised publicity sluts that we are, but do you really think that's motivation enough for them to order a big round of Jerry Brown's Tombstone Tonic shots for themselves?
To that I say, sure there's motivation. R-A-T-I-N-G-S. And we can start off with Caitlyn, nee Bruce, Jenner. This transgendered person was born to kill herself on TV, in my opinion, and I'm sure the rest of the family would be supportive of her decision, especially in light of the fact that she chose to spell her new name with a 'C" instead of a 'K.'
But no. So far only Lamar has decided to try the easy way out, and apparently failed. But I applaud his style. He busted his move towards the Pearly Gates by going to a brothel in Nevada and consuming enough booze, coke, fake Viagra and prostitutes to put himself in a coma. That's the way to go, and when I feel that my personal timer is about to go off, I hope my family understands if I choose to Lamar it out of here.
But Lamar is up and about, although I imagine considerably hung over, and I bet he's ready for his own TV show instead of being a hanger-on in somebody else's. I see it as having a travel angle. "Whorin' Round the World With Lamar Odom" would not be too blunt of a title.
And if we want to keep some of that action in California, we're going to need legal brothels. Governor?
Fewer people are leaping at that chance than some of us might like. The only member of the Kardashian and Jenner clans to attempt to kill himself since the bill was passed was one of their husbands, Lamar Odom. The Kardashian-Jenners, in the unlikely event that you are unfamiliar with them, are a closely-related group of mostly young women with an explosive talent for posting pictures of themselves in their underwear on Instagram, and one old guy famous for turning himself into an old woman on TV.
The family has been augmented recently by the coming of age of Kylie and Kendall. Having recently upped their mommie count from one to two hasn't stopped them from being conventionally selfish, rich and nasty.
Now, you may think to yourself, Richard, aren't you being overly optimistic in thinking that this family, living lives of bloated celebrity all, would choose to kill themselves just because it's legal now? Sure, I think they realize that we all feel a little dead inside when we so much as glimpse one of their shows while we're surfing cable channels because that's all we can afford to do instead of buying expensive clothes every day that we can slip out of so we can take butt-selfies and put them on the Internet every night like the born and raised publicity sluts that we are, but do you really think that's motivation enough for them to order a big round of Jerry Brown's Tombstone Tonic shots for themselves?
To that I say, sure there's motivation. R-A-T-I-N-G-S. And we can start off with Caitlyn, nee Bruce, Jenner. This transgendered person was born to kill herself on TV, in my opinion, and I'm sure the rest of the family would be supportive of her decision, especially in light of the fact that she chose to spell her new name with a 'C" instead of a 'K.'
But no. So far only Lamar has decided to try the easy way out, and apparently failed. But I applaud his style. He busted his move towards the Pearly Gates by going to a brothel in Nevada and consuming enough booze, coke, fake Viagra and prostitutes to put himself in a coma. That's the way to go, and when I feel that my personal timer is about to go off, I hope my family understands if I choose to Lamar it out of here.
But Lamar is up and about, although I imagine considerably hung over, and I bet he's ready for his own TV show instead of being a hanger-on in somebody else's. I see it as having a travel angle. "Whorin' Round the World With Lamar Odom" would not be too blunt of a title.
And if we want to keep some of that action in California, we're going to need legal brothels. Governor?
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