My Facebook feed is out of hand. It’s partly my fault, because I accept all friend requests. Really. Try me. I’ll let you be my Facebook friend, no matter who you are. I don’t even block posts from you, mostly. Even those of you who post a couple cat pics or videos a day, and those of you who post some variation of “Type Amen if You Love Jesus,” go unblocked, although I assure you I am not liking your cat videos or sharing prayers with you, especially if you are imploring me to. Attempts to shame me by typing “Share this if you agree. I bet 99% of you won’t,” or FaceBlackmailing by posting pictures of flags or crying soldiers with the line “Like if you’re a real American,” doesn’t cause me to reach for the mouse with a guilty start. I know I’m a real American and, it being that time of year, I’ve got the Form 1099’s to prove it.
Many of my Facebook friends are posting their results from Facebook tests, tests with titles like “What Will You Go to Jail For?” or “What Is Your Supernatural Ability?” and getting dramatic answers, like "You Will Go to Jail For Sticking Up for a Friend," even though like everyone who isn’t a career criminal, they are most likely to go to jail for a DUI and their supernatural ability is being able to type without looking at the keyboard, and maybe they, like me, can't even do that that.
But I learn stuff. Really unimportant, useless stuff. I learned that Rita Ora, featured above, posed topless for Liu Magazine. It makes me nervous, not knowing this before today. How many other women I’ve never heard of have posed topless for magazines I’ve never read? I am appalled at the depths of my own ignorance, and so are my critics. I'm not really appalled at toplessness, though.
I learned that there is at least one person out there who thinks it is still okay to address the African American population of the United States as "You Negroes." Fortunately for me, he is only a Facebook friend of a Facebook friend.
Also it is Tom Selleck’s birthday, or was recently. Tom started out as Magnum, PI, and lived for free and drove a borrowed Ferrari around Oahu, wearing aloha shirts and solving crimes. Now he is Police Commissioner of New York and has a large, quarrelsome family who piss him off on a regular basis on a TV show I can’t stand to watch called Bluebloods. But just because I don’t watch it doesn’t mean I can’t sympathize with the arc of Tom’s TV life, from carefree young male to near-codger but still bogged down with a bunch of annoying dependents, just like a regular guy’s.
I know about Tom’s birthday because my girl, in addition to being the love of my life in real life, is also my Facebook friend, and she updated me on the Selleck nativity anniversary in a post, because she is a big fan. In fact, I suspect that Tom is one of the several celebrity guys that she would not only callously make an exception to our current monogamy for if given the chance, but would openly brag about it afterwards. To me.
The Pope visited Philadelphia last year and rode around that city in a Fiat,which was recently re-sold for $82,000. Nobody pays 82 large for a Fiat unless the Holy Father once rolled in it. Of course, he didn’t actually drive it—the Bishop of Rome can’t get behind the wheel, for fear of losing the respect of the world by being observed driving around like all old foreign guys drive around, which is really badly. Also he can't do a decent job of blessing people along the parade route without trying to steer with his knees. So in order for the purchaser of the Fiat to press his hiney against the same leather that once cupped the Pope’s holy bum, he has to hire a chauffeur. Sounds like he can afford one, though.
Also, I learned that a couple in Maryland is suing their daughter’s high school for forcibly converting her to Islam. We only have the words of the lawsuit to prove that the young woman involved was forced by her teacher to recite the Shahada, which automatically made her a Muslim, and now they can’t serve her pork and she has to cover her face at all times, so they have to constantly explain what’s going on in any TV show they are watching together.
Just kidding about that.Here’s a link to some FOX website where some whiny Christian is complaining about the alleged conversion. A comparative religion class was something the plaintiff took at the school, and allegedly the teacher spent more time on Islam than he or she did on Christianity, possibly on the likely valid assumption that her class had been stuffed full of Protestant pieties at home and church already.
Christians should encourage comparative religion classes, especially ones that compel students to read the respective Holy Books of each faith, because the Bible benefits by being an anthology, with lots of racy old Jewish stories and an Apocalypse ending that has inspired many modern movie producers, whereas the Quran (and the Book of Mormon, for that matter) show the flaws of single authorship and make the skeptical wonder why God would bother to spend so much time talking to a boreass like Mohammed or Joseph Smith.
And now I’ve said something nice about Christianity. Go ahead and Like it.
Many of my Facebook friends are posting their results from Facebook tests, tests with titles like “What Will You Go to Jail For?” or “What Is Your Supernatural Ability?” and getting dramatic answers, like "You Will Go to Jail For Sticking Up for a Friend," even though like everyone who isn’t a career criminal, they are most likely to go to jail for a DUI and their supernatural ability is being able to type without looking at the keyboard, and maybe they, like me, can't even do that that.
But I learn stuff. Really unimportant, useless stuff. I learned that Rita Ora, featured above, posed topless for Liu Magazine. It makes me nervous, not knowing this before today. How many other women I’ve never heard of have posed topless for magazines I’ve never read? I am appalled at the depths of my own ignorance, and so are my critics. I'm not really appalled at toplessness, though.
I learned that there is at least one person out there who thinks it is still okay to address the African American population of the United States as "You Negroes." Fortunately for me, he is only a Facebook friend of a Facebook friend.
Also it is Tom Selleck’s birthday, or was recently. Tom started out as Magnum, PI, and lived for free and drove a borrowed Ferrari around Oahu, wearing aloha shirts and solving crimes. Now he is Police Commissioner of New York and has a large, quarrelsome family who piss him off on a regular basis on a TV show I can’t stand to watch called Bluebloods. But just because I don’t watch it doesn’t mean I can’t sympathize with the arc of Tom’s TV life, from carefree young male to near-codger but still bogged down with a bunch of annoying dependents, just like a regular guy’s.
I know about Tom’s birthday because my girl, in addition to being the love of my life in real life, is also my Facebook friend, and she updated me on the Selleck nativity anniversary in a post, because she is a big fan. In fact, I suspect that Tom is one of the several celebrity guys that she would not only callously make an exception to our current monogamy for if given the chance, but would openly brag about it afterwards. To me.
The Pope visited Philadelphia last year and rode around that city in a Fiat,which was recently re-sold for $82,000. Nobody pays 82 large for a Fiat unless the Holy Father once rolled in it. Of course, he didn’t actually drive it—the Bishop of Rome can’t get behind the wheel, for fear of losing the respect of the world by being observed driving around like all old foreign guys drive around, which is really badly. Also he can't do a decent job of blessing people along the parade route without trying to steer with his knees. So in order for the purchaser of the Fiat to press his hiney against the same leather that once cupped the Pope’s holy bum, he has to hire a chauffeur. Sounds like he can afford one, though.
Also, I learned that a couple in Maryland is suing their daughter’s high school for forcibly converting her to Islam. We only have the words of the lawsuit to prove that the young woman involved was forced by her teacher to recite the Shahada, which automatically made her a Muslim, and now they can’t serve her pork and she has to cover her face at all times, so they have to constantly explain what’s going on in any TV show they are watching together.
Just kidding about that.Here’s a link to some FOX website where some whiny Christian is complaining about the alleged conversion. A comparative religion class was something the plaintiff took at the school, and allegedly the teacher spent more time on Islam than he or she did on Christianity, possibly on the likely valid assumption that her class had been stuffed full of Protestant pieties at home and church already.
Christians should encourage comparative religion classes, especially ones that compel students to read the respective Holy Books of each faith, because the Bible benefits by being an anthology, with lots of racy old Jewish stories and an Apocalypse ending that has inspired many modern movie producers, whereas the Quran (and the Book of Mormon, for that matter) show the flaws of single authorship and make the skeptical wonder why God would bother to spend so much time talking to a boreass like Mohammed or Joseph Smith.
And now I’ve said something nice about Christianity. Go ahead and Like it.
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