Trump peeps need tunes It’s been a bad thirty days for rallying for the Cantaloupe Dope, what with no one showing up in Tulsa and then nearly the whole Secret Service, Herman Cain and Don Jr.’s tootsie getting the rona after it, then a couple of 4th celebrations in which the basic theme was how Joe Biden was trying to destroy America.
Which is wrong, of course. Joe Biden will have only what’s left of America to try to destroy, should he win in November. Trump will try to rally again, but not only will people fail to show up for fear of the covid, but he’s not going to have any music to play for them. Most recently, Neil Young, geriatric rocker, flat out told the Trump campaign to knock off playing his ancient hit, Keep on Rockin in the Free World. Young, who was born in Canada and was good with that until Trump was elected, became an American citizen specifically so he could vote against Trump this year. He's a little bit p-o'd about being Trump's soundtrack.
This follows fast on the heels of the Rolling Stones telling Trump not to think about even humming one of their songs in the shower, and a while back, Bruce Springsteen ixnaying Trump playing Born in the USA before raging against the immigrant hordes.
Now, anyone who’s ever read the lyrics of Born or Free World knows that neither song is a paean to the unsullied American Dream. And Trump does read, or at least the Mendacious Mannequin, Kayleigh McEnany, assures us he does. But not song lyrics, apparently, and for sure his base doesn’t read them, either.
But the bunch of creaky boomers that attend Trump’s rallies need music to rouse them out of their insulin comas long enough to cheer when Trump takes the stage and even though Ted Nugent still makes his work available for Trumpfests, no matter how tired and cranky and racist you are, there’s only so many times you can listen to Cat Scratch Fever or Wang Dang Sweet Poontang without having a fatal health event, or at least wishing you could have one.
Even Kanye West’s oeuvre is not available to Trump now, since West will probably want to use it himself in his own Presidential campaign, which he announced the other day after splitting a big bud of Himalayan Kush with Elon Musk. Just as well, because not a single person born before 1990 can name one song Kanye has ever written.
There is one band out of the Cretaceous era of rock that had quite a few hits and, so far, has not objected to Trump playing them. I speak of the Beatles, of course. The fact that they are 50% deceased may have something to do with this.
Now, there are some Beatles hits that wouldn’t be suitable for a Trump rally. Norwegian Wood would be pointless, and I Wanna Hold Your Hand in bad taste in this pandemic year. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds might be better for a Lindsey Graham campaign event.
But Lennon and McCartney did write at least one rocking, soaring anthem with an irresistible hook that would have Trump’s supporters cheering madly and jumping around in their support hose.
BACK IN THE USSR!
Think about it. If you concentrate hard enough, you can practically see Putin wiping away a nostalgic tear.
Which is wrong, of course. Joe Biden will have only what’s left of America to try to destroy, should he win in November. Trump will try to rally again, but not only will people fail to show up for fear of the covid, but he’s not going to have any music to play for them. Most recently, Neil Young, geriatric rocker, flat out told the Trump campaign to knock off playing his ancient hit, Keep on Rockin in the Free World. Young, who was born in Canada and was good with that until Trump was elected, became an American citizen specifically so he could vote against Trump this year. He's a little bit p-o'd about being Trump's soundtrack.
This follows fast on the heels of the Rolling Stones telling Trump not to think about even humming one of their songs in the shower, and a while back, Bruce Springsteen ixnaying Trump playing Born in the USA before raging against the immigrant hordes.
Now, anyone who’s ever read the lyrics of Born or Free World knows that neither song is a paean to the unsullied American Dream. And Trump does read, or at least the Mendacious Mannequin, Kayleigh McEnany, assures us he does. But not song lyrics, apparently, and for sure his base doesn’t read them, either.
But the bunch of creaky boomers that attend Trump’s rallies need music to rouse them out of their insulin comas long enough to cheer when Trump takes the stage and even though Ted Nugent still makes his work available for Trumpfests, no matter how tired and cranky and racist you are, there’s only so many times you can listen to Cat Scratch Fever or Wang Dang Sweet Poontang without having a fatal health event, or at least wishing you could have one.
Even Kanye West’s oeuvre is not available to Trump now, since West will probably want to use it himself in his own Presidential campaign, which he announced the other day after splitting a big bud of Himalayan Kush with Elon Musk. Just as well, because not a single person born before 1990 can name one song Kanye has ever written.
There is one band out of the Cretaceous era of rock that had quite a few hits and, so far, has not objected to Trump playing them. I speak of the Beatles, of course. The fact that they are 50% deceased may have something to do with this.
Now, there are some Beatles hits that wouldn’t be suitable for a Trump rally. Norwegian Wood would be pointless, and I Wanna Hold Your Hand in bad taste in this pandemic year. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds might be better for a Lindsey Graham campaign event.
But Lennon and McCartney did write at least one rocking, soaring anthem with an irresistible hook that would have Trump’s supporters cheering madly and jumping around in their support hose.
BACK IN THE USSR!
Think about it. If you concentrate hard enough, you can practically see Putin wiping away a nostalgic tear.
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