The death of this Republican politician was apparently directly caused by his being a deranged gun enthusiast. Kuczwanski was involved in a minor accident with a Toyota Prius, which, witnesses say, was caused by Kuczwanski. When both drivers pulled into a convenience store parking lot, instead of exchanging insurance information, they exchanged gunfire, but only after Kuczwanski had rammed the Prius and taken a couple shots at the driver first, missing him.
The Prius driver was also armed, and also a better shot. He put a bullet through the director of external affair’s noggin. Kuczwanski was pronounced dead at the nearest hospital.
Because of Florida’s stand-your-ground self-defense laws, it is unlikely that the armed tree-hugger who killed Kuczwanski will face criminal charges. Another point in his legal favor is that Kuczwanski had just completed probation for pulling a gun on another driver eight years previously. The guy just enjoyed road rage, firearms and bullying people with loaded weapons.
Most of us, when we are involved in a minor accident, don’t automatically think, “Well, I can shoot my way out of this,” but not Kuczwanski. He apparently thought, “I’ll make this Prius pussy crap in his cargo pants before I show him my Geico card.”
Now, nothing is known about the pistol-packing Prius pilot. He could well be blissfully in tune with nature, a tender soul who weeps over dead manatees, of which they have plenty in Florida, simpatico with Greta Thunberg in all things, who just happens to pack heat when he gets behind the wheel of his environmentally-conscious car and does not contribute to global warming while driving to a Save Our Swamps candlelight vigil.
Or he could be just your average armed yick-a-doo who’s pissed off that he has to drive his sister-in-law’s Prius because his Dodge Ram with the hyper V-8 option is in the shop. He threw his gun on the passenger’s seat fuming, thinking “If anybody makes fun of me for driving this Biden-mobile, I’ll plug the bastard.”
We’ll never know, because the cops in Tampa aren’t going to release any info on somebody they’re not going to arrest. What we know for sure is that Florida needs a new external affairs director for the State Board of Administration. Likely they’ll never find another one like Kuczwanski, though. His boss said of him, “He was a quiet fellow. Everything in his world was about his family.”
Well, okay. I guess you can’t say, “He was a crazed shithead, constantly on the verge of blowing up. Probably would have shot up the office sooner or later if this hadn’t happened."
Speaking ill of the dead and all that.
Title contributed by Nancy Federman