"We declare any strange winds – any strange winds that have been sent to hurt the church, sent to hurt this nation, sent against the president, sent against myself, sent against others – we break it by the superior blood of Jesus right now…In the name of Jesus, we command all satanic pregnancies to miscarry right now. We declare that anything that has been conceived in satanic wombs will miscarry.
Immediately the libtard media went into a frenzy, since Paula yacks about the preciousness of fetal life all the time, so commanding fetuses to self-abort definitely smells of mission creep. Paula’s ministry has really been raking in the cheese lately, because of her association with Trump, and likely she’s getting insider stock tips from Steve Mnuchin as well, so naturally she’s filled with the Spirit, but it is nonetheless a distinctly weird message that the Spirit is blurting out here, so weird that eventually Paula started telling people she was quoted out of context. Which is another kind of miracle, because she’s on video saying it.
How do I know if my womb is satanic? I hear the women of childbearing age of America crying out this question, to no avail. No information available. If you can’t reach Paula, ask your OBGYN, I suppose.
Nonetheless, I've learned something from Paula. I’m vowing to add the phrase “By the Superior Blood of Jesus” to every request I make in the future. For example, “By the Superior Blood of Jesus, can I get a couple extra packets of hot sauce?” or, “By the Superior Blood of Jesus, could you kindly not run the fucking dishwasher when I’m in the shower?”
Also, we are left to wonder exactly what a Satanic pregnancy is, since Paula refuses to say anything more about them. Is it a pregnancy actually caused by Satan? Could be, because in no artistic or sculptural rendering of the Prince of Darkness, is he ever depicted wearing a condom. His biggest centuries for knocking up human women were in the Dark Ages. Apparently, the Lord of the Underworld prefers women that have never bathed in their entire lives.
Back then, when a woman conceived a child by Satan, her neighbors didn’t bother with praying for her to miscarry—they just burned her and her fetus at the stake, so we ought to be grateful to Paula for her mercy, relatively speaking. And for all the girls nowadays who have woken up in a strange bed after a hard night of partying with a guy they met on Tinder, and saw Satan sleeping next to them, and thought afterwards, “I kind of wish that had been Harvey Weinstein,” they are grateful to be getting their periods after Paula’s prayers, no doubt.
As for those strange winds, they are no doubt blowing straight from the Pit of Darkness. Unless they’re blowing from a burrito you ate after midnight.
In either case, they can hurt.