It’s seldom we make headlines out here in sunny San Diego, so we’re proud to report on this individual, whose name has not been revealed by the press, who is now notorious for not only shooting himself in the nutsack, but posting the incident, along with his subsequent trip to the hospital and release, to a Facebook group he belonged to, Loaded guns pointed at (b)enis.
This group does, in fact, consists of members who post pictures of themselves pointing loaded pistols at their genitals. This individual, however, was the first to find the courage to fire while doing so. The group celebrated this shot heard round the world by making him an admin.
The membership in this group is exclusively male, natch, and there is no corresponding group called Loaded Guns Pointed at My (t)itties for gun-loving girls to join. Blatant sexism, for my money, for they are out there…here’s a link to one of my fave gun stories, Second Amendment Guarantees Freedom to Shoot Mom in Back.
The caliber of the weapon used was large (.45) but the size of the target was not revealed, so we don't know the degree of marksmanship this feat entailed, though if he was aiming for his man-tool, he was just a tad off.
Why, you might ask, would anyone point a loaded weapon at his member, let alone take a picture of it and share it with his fellow low-in-the-Q’s bros on Facebook? You might just think it’s because you’re young, dumb and bored, and weren’t using your wang for anything else important anyway, but you’d be wrong. Loaded Gun etc. exists to troll other Facebook groups that extol the virtues of responsible gun ownership, using terms like “trigger discipline,” which means not putting your finger on your gun’s trigger unless you intend to use it. Loaded Gun guys are sick of being lectured by responsible guys. You could even say “triggered,” but I am already sorry I did.
Over here, we are sticking with our theory of gun ownership, which is you never know if you’re a good guy with a gun, a bad guy with a gun, or a dumb guy with a gun until your gun goes off and hits someone, or yourself. Then you’re firmly ensconced in one of those categories. Before that, you’re just a guy with a gun.
It’s been a dull couple years for guns. The NRA has been hiding in the bushes, on account of being almost out of money. They’re secretly praying for a Biden victory in the fall, so they can tell gun-lovers that Kamala is going to be knocking down their doors looking for their chillers and ammo unless they buy a shit-ton more memberships. Four more years of Trump means they’ll be slurping Ramen noodles out of their high-capacity clips, unable to even afford beer to cry in.
Even this story ends on a down note. First off, we can’t find the Loaded Guns Pointed at (b)enis page, which means the hot glare of publicity has wilted these shy flowers that promoted pointing your rod at your rod. Secondly, this incident was confirmed by the Imperial County Sheriff's Office, which means we can’t even claim this guy as a stupid San Diegan. The heart of Imperial County lies about a hundred miles east of here, so it’s like someone from Harrisburg claiming to be a Philadelphian.
It’s also generally about 20 degrees hotter than it is here, and here it’s scheduled to be 96 today.
So, yeah, maybe hot enough for you to want to shoot your own cajones off. But you won’t be the first.
This group does, in fact, consists of members who post pictures of themselves pointing loaded pistols at their genitals. This individual, however, was the first to find the courage to fire while doing so. The group celebrated this shot heard round the world by making him an admin.
The membership in this group is exclusively male, natch, and there is no corresponding group called Loaded Guns Pointed at My (t)itties for gun-loving girls to join. Blatant sexism, for my money, for they are out there…here’s a link to one of my fave gun stories, Second Amendment Guarantees Freedom to Shoot Mom in Back.
The caliber of the weapon used was large (.45) but the size of the target was not revealed, so we don't know the degree of marksmanship this feat entailed, though if he was aiming for his man-tool, he was just a tad off.
Why, you might ask, would anyone point a loaded weapon at his member, let alone take a picture of it and share it with his fellow low-in-the-Q’s bros on Facebook? You might just think it’s because you’re young, dumb and bored, and weren’t using your wang for anything else important anyway, but you’d be wrong. Loaded Gun etc. exists to troll other Facebook groups that extol the virtues of responsible gun ownership, using terms like “trigger discipline,” which means not putting your finger on your gun’s trigger unless you intend to use it. Loaded Gun guys are sick of being lectured by responsible guys. You could even say “triggered,” but I am already sorry I did.
Over here, we are sticking with our theory of gun ownership, which is you never know if you’re a good guy with a gun, a bad guy with a gun, or a dumb guy with a gun until your gun goes off and hits someone, or yourself. Then you’re firmly ensconced in one of those categories. Before that, you’re just a guy with a gun.
It’s been a dull couple years for guns. The NRA has been hiding in the bushes, on account of being almost out of money. They’re secretly praying for a Biden victory in the fall, so they can tell gun-lovers that Kamala is going to be knocking down their doors looking for their chillers and ammo unless they buy a shit-ton more memberships. Four more years of Trump means they’ll be slurping Ramen noodles out of their high-capacity clips, unable to even afford beer to cry in.
Even this story ends on a down note. First off, we can’t find the Loaded Guns Pointed at (b)enis page, which means the hot glare of publicity has wilted these shy flowers that promoted pointing your rod at your rod. Secondly, this incident was confirmed by the Imperial County Sheriff's Office, which means we can’t even claim this guy as a stupid San Diegan. The heart of Imperial County lies about a hundred miles east of here, so it’s like someone from Harrisburg claiming to be a Philadelphian.
It’s also generally about 20 degrees hotter than it is here, and here it’s scheduled to be 96 today.
So, yeah, maybe hot enough for you to want to shoot your own cajones off. But you won’t be the first.
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