Shooting off his mouth about shooting off his gun I'm looking at my last four columns and realizing that I've done nothing but political satire for the last two weeks. That isn't me. Okay, it's partly me. But I have other risibilities to write about. Literally half-dozens of people depend on my theological insights to hone their awareness of God, and they are being neglected. I don't know how many relationships my relationship observations have saved, although if you pick a whole number that was either zero or the next largest number, that might be it. My writings on science make that subject "real" to numerable of my followers, and when they follow that "real' with "stupid," "wrong" or "lame," I know that my efforts have awakened in them an unquenchable thirst for hard knowledge.
But all that's been on hold. Why? Because Republicans won't shut the intercourse up. No sooner do I sit down in front of my PC than some member of the GOP starts thinking to himself "How can I say something disarmingly hateful today?" and follows up on it. Then it goes here.
Virginia state lawmaker Richard Black has sent a letter to Syria's head guy, Bashar al-Assad, in which he lavishes praise on this individual, who is regarded by a large plurality world-wide as an unrepentant mass murderer. Al Assad, who, when confronted by massive popular demonstrations a couple years ago demanding that the former ophthalmologist step down from his position as iron-fisted ruler of his nation, a job he inherited from his dad, and submit his rule to popular elections, replied "Nah. Let's have a civil war until at least 160,000 of you are dead instead," is regarded as a hero by Black for his defense of Christian lives.
Guys like Senator Black regard Christian lives as more important than non-Christian lives. This is a done on a perfectly sound theological basis, because when Christians die, in they go straight to Heaven, whereas when non-Christians die, they are put on the bullet train to Hell. So if al-Assad had not saved those Christians, they would be in Heaven munching on manna instead of in Syria ducking mortar shells today. And by concentrating on killing non-Christians, he is sending them to Hell, which they deserve and they can probably adjust to easily after living in Syria. Mysterious are the ways of the Lord, as Black and his fellow Christians would say. Logical are the ways of the Lord—you don't hear that so much.
Also mysterious are the ways of Joe the Plumber, Republican rock star at large, who offered his unsolicited opinion on the Santa Barbara mass murder, which was "Your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional right to have guns." He admitted that the comment "might seem harsh."
I think he got that right. In fact a gamma-ray burst from deep space that fried all life off Earth without any warning would only be a tad harsher than the way Joe asserts his gun rights. He might as well have said "You're not going to pry my gun out of my hand on account of some cold, dead kids." He probably would have said that, if he hadn't realized beforehand that it's a scosh long for a bumper sticker.
People are very touchy on the subject of dead kids, and people with dead kids are the touchiest of all. Most people know this. Even the most dedicated NRAers tend to leave them alone in the aftermath of one of these tragedies. Not Joe. He realizes that plenty of people are going have something to say about the slain children. But who is going to speak up for the poor guns? Joe took it upon himself
There's the usual uproar from the liberals, and by liberals I mean anyone who doubts the wisdom of letting anybody in our country buy any gun at any time without having to fill out some intrusive government form and pack it anywhere they want, which is the current position of the gun lobby. I'm sure some of them, in their intemperate way, wish Joe would become a dead kid himself.
Not me. I just wish he would shut up.
But all that's been on hold. Why? Because Republicans won't shut the intercourse up. No sooner do I sit down in front of my PC than some member of the GOP starts thinking to himself "How can I say something disarmingly hateful today?" and follows up on it. Then it goes here.
Virginia state lawmaker Richard Black has sent a letter to Syria's head guy, Bashar al-Assad, in which he lavishes praise on this individual, who is regarded by a large plurality world-wide as an unrepentant mass murderer. Al Assad, who, when confronted by massive popular demonstrations a couple years ago demanding that the former ophthalmologist step down from his position as iron-fisted ruler of his nation, a job he inherited from his dad, and submit his rule to popular elections, replied "Nah. Let's have a civil war until at least 160,000 of you are dead instead," is regarded as a hero by Black for his defense of Christian lives.
Guys like Senator Black regard Christian lives as more important than non-Christian lives. This is a done on a perfectly sound theological basis, because when Christians die, in they go straight to Heaven, whereas when non-Christians die, they are put on the bullet train to Hell. So if al-Assad had not saved those Christians, they would be in Heaven munching on manna instead of in Syria ducking mortar shells today. And by concentrating on killing non-Christians, he is sending them to Hell, which they deserve and they can probably adjust to easily after living in Syria. Mysterious are the ways of the Lord, as Black and his fellow Christians would say. Logical are the ways of the Lord—you don't hear that so much.
Also mysterious are the ways of Joe the Plumber, Republican rock star at large, who offered his unsolicited opinion on the Santa Barbara mass murder, which was "Your dead kids don't trump my Constitutional right to have guns." He admitted that the comment "might seem harsh."
I think he got that right. In fact a gamma-ray burst from deep space that fried all life off Earth without any warning would only be a tad harsher than the way Joe asserts his gun rights. He might as well have said "You're not going to pry my gun out of my hand on account of some cold, dead kids." He probably would have said that, if he hadn't realized beforehand that it's a scosh long for a bumper sticker.
People are very touchy on the subject of dead kids, and people with dead kids are the touchiest of all. Most people know this. Even the most dedicated NRAers tend to leave them alone in the aftermath of one of these tragedies. Not Joe. He realizes that plenty of people are going have something to say about the slain children. But who is going to speak up for the poor guns? Joe took it upon himself
There's the usual uproar from the liberals, and by liberals I mean anyone who doubts the wisdom of letting anybody in our country buy any gun at any time without having to fill out some intrusive government form and pack it anywhere they want, which is the current position of the gun lobby. I'm sure some of them, in their intemperate way, wish Joe would become a dead kid himself.
Not me. I just wish he would shut up.
After I finished this piece, I ran across an article in Slate detailing the exploits of Open Carry Texas, a group of armed boneheads who celebrate Texas gun law by carrying semi-automatic weapons into popular dining spots like Chipotle's and Sonic and stand around, taking pictures of themselves while the unarmed diners cower in fear over their appetizers. I am mentioning it here so I am not tempted to write a separate column about it, but if you want to see a picture of two guys that need to sublimate their sex drives into a fetishistic love of guns because they never, ever get laid click on it here.
Full Disclosure: The author admits that he is Joe the Plumber's evil twin
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