"We call it the Denial Majority Project. Forget appealing to various scary, hard-to-understand minority groups and chicks. All we have to do is forge a coalition of deniers amounting to 50.01% of the vote and we rule. Again. And everybody's in denial about something."
I'm not going to argue with you there, Joe, but I'm not seeing how you can make denial a uniquely Republican attribute.
"Are you kidding, dude? We're nearly halfway there. We OWN the global warming deniers. And because the Republican Party is the party of the big tent, we accommodate the beliefs of all factions of global warming denying—the ones that think global warming is real, but deny it's caused by burning fossil fuels so they can continue to drive mammoth SUV's without feeling guilty about it, and the ones who think it doesn't exist because it keeps snowing sometimes, and, most importantly, the feisty free-thinkers who believe that just because modern scientists invented every convenience we enjoy and every device that makes our easeful modern lives possible doesn't mean they're entitled to tell us something we don't want to hear."
Those people are an electoral force to be reckoned with, Joe, but I'm not sure they're a majority.
"That's why we keep adding on other deniers. Take the rape pregnancy deniers. Whether they believe that there's some biological process by which raped women don't get pregnant, or they simply have faith that God grabs every rapist's sperm by the tail and yanks it out of the rape victim's egg personally, they are welcome in the Republican Party."
I'm not sure there are enough of those guys to make a legitimate electoral difference.
"Could be enough to make a difference in a crucial swing state, though. But we have more. To the Gay is Innate deniers, we say welcome to the Republican club. To we Republicans, gay will always be a choice, or at least something we can blame on screwed-up, Democratic style parenting or "recruiting" by insidious gay forces. It's certainly not something biological."
What, so people "choose" a sexual orientation that can result in vicious persecution or even execution at the worst, and at best guaranteed bullying and social ostracization? Why would they do that?
"I don't know. Why do Mexicans choose to be Mexican, to cite a similar example? It would be much easier on them if they had chosen to be Americans, because then we wouldn't be agitating to kick them out of the country. We Republicans aren't saying we have all the answers. We don't want all the answers. We just want enough of them to win elections."
Joe, I thought the Republicans were going to quit being the Party of Stupid. This sounds like you're re-embracing boundless idiocy.
"Well, I absolutely deny that."
Mahalo to Donny "The Other Dude" Ferris, who doesn't think I skewer Republicans nearly enough, for this post idea.