I called veteran GOP political operative Joe Redstate and asked him if that meant the Republican party was making an effort to purge itself of racists.
"Not necessary," he said. "That guy in North Carolina was the last one."
You sure about that, Joe? What about notorious Republican nitwit Joe the Plumber? Just the other day, he said that what America needed was a white Republican President again.
"Sure, but my fellow Republican and fellow Joe made up for it by tweeting a picture of a burning cross that formed the last letter in the word 'Democrat,' thus proving that Democrats are the real racists."
What about the white President crack?
"Saying you want a white President just means you have a color preference for President. If I said I wanted a white car, would that make me racist?"
Joe, that's not the same thing at all. What about the Republican House caucus that just shut down the government? It's overwhelmingly old white guys. Where are the black Republicans?
"It's true the House Republicans are all old white guys, but they are funky old white guys. The whole government shutdown thing happened when the House GOP was getting crunk one Saturday afternoon with our party poodles,Michele Bachmann and Marsha Blackburn. Paul Ryan was on his second 40-ouncer when he jumped up on his desk and started twerking while he hollered 'We are gonna shut this government DOWN, bitches!' over and over again. The whole thing kind of steamrollered from there."
It never seemed like a good idea.
"Yeah, but Republican homies are just a bunch of bangers and ballers at heart. When the House Party turns into a house party, anything can happen, dog."
You do sound different, Joe.
"Now that we kicked the last racist out of the party, we feelin' the love that's gonna start pushing our way from blacks and Mexicans."
You sure about that, Joe? Last time I looked, you guys hadn't done anything about immigration and were tightening up the voting laws. And the reason you have all those seats in Congress is that you gerrymandered all the minorities out of your Congressional districts.
"Minorities are welcome in our districts, especially famous and wealthy ones. Republicans let blacks like Denzel Washington and Mexicans like Sofia Vergara into our homes every time we switch on the TV. Don't call us racist."
Sofia Vergara is Colombian, Joe.
"So what? Isn't that part of Mexico? Have you checked out the funbags on her, by the way? I mean, if all Hispanics looked like that, let 'em be bilingual all they want is what I say."
She is a very attractive woman, Joe.
"Say it like a good, non-racist Republican would say it, broheem. She be one smokin' hoochie."