This, truly, is a stunningly unimpressive reason to choose to get a sometimes-fatal disease rather than accept treatment for it. It’s almost as if Darwin himself, from his magical sailing ship in the sky, said, “Let’s not be so subtle about evolution favoring intelligence anymore,” and shook the evolutionary tree so that all the dumbasses fell out, headfirst. *
The subject of Politico’s analysis is the vaccine-reluctant people of Louisiana and Alabama, who are getting so rapidly sick from covid that they barely have time to utter one last “Trump won,” or “Roll Tide,” before getting intubated. They are just fed up with advice from intelligent, educated scientists who have their best interests at heart. They listen raptly instead to the fetid lies they really enjoy, like those told by Madison Cawthorn, the Chirping Cripple from Carolina,** who claims that covid outreach teams are just a prelude to Democrats taking away their guns and Bibles. “Cain’t have that,” they say, as they cough wetly on each other.
Of course, they mostly use their guns to accidentally shoot each other or themselves, and they don’t use their Bibles at all, or at least don’t open them nearly as often as they open a fresh tab in PornHub. Even their governor called the citizens of Alabama a bunch of chowderheads the other day, which didn’t have any effect, except maybe for a couple slobbering loons vowing to primary her for advocating a vaccine that they suspect will turn them into transgenders, which would force them to go out of state to use the restroom.
There’re other variants besides the delta one, of course, so many of them that they’re going to run out of Greek letters to name them after soon. These variants are caused by viruses just mutating away because they have the space to do so. They’ve got plenty of space in the American South, so maybe we can start naming them after the places people are dying the fastest. Birmingham Lung-Buster is a catchy name for a variant. So is the Baton Rouge Breath-Stopper.
You can’t fix stupid, but you can kill it off. Somewhere, Darwin is winking. ***
*Just kidding. Darwin is dead.
**This is able--ist. I know that. Little fuckwad deserves it, though.
***See asterisk 1