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In this single Web page on Yahoo, the casual surfer can find links to stories about Kraft planning to take the orange dye out of its macaroni and cheese and Hallmark omitting the word "gay" from its "Deck the Halls" Christmas sweater, replacing it with "fun" instead.
Both of these stories contain the seeds of fine posts. Personally, I think Kraft macaroni and cheese should be dyed a deeper orange, possibly matching the color of a safety cone, as a warning to anyone who eats it in the mistaken hope that it will taste good. Taking the word "gay" off your Christmas sweater now means that Christmas sweater enthusiasts can now wear them into biker bars without worrying about being bullied. Or possibly not.
But the headline is the main story here. Kanye West, whose ego was recently misidentified by the Hubble Space Telescope as an extrasolar planet, told Ryan Seacrest that he and his main squeeze, the extravagantly breasted Kim Kardashian, were a more influential couple than President Obama and the First Lady, and went further by criticizing Michelle Obama for not posting more pics of herself in a bathing suit on Instagram.
There's nothing this column enjoys more than a sober analysis buttressed by well-researched facts, so let's examine the Kanye claim below:
Both of these stories contain the seeds of fine posts. Personally, I think Kraft macaroni and cheese should be dyed a deeper orange, possibly matching the color of a safety cone, as a warning to anyone who eats it in the mistaken hope that it will taste good. Taking the word "gay" off your Christmas sweater now means that Christmas sweater enthusiasts can now wear them into biker bars without worrying about being bullied. Or possibly not.
But the headline is the main story here. Kanye West, whose ego was recently misidentified by the Hubble Space Telescope as an extrasolar planet, told Ryan Seacrest that he and his main squeeze, the extravagantly breasted Kim Kardashian, were a more influential couple than President Obama and the First Lady, and went further by criticizing Michelle Obama for not posting more pics of herself in a bathing suit on Instagram.
There's nothing this column enjoys more than a sober analysis buttressed by well-researched facts, so let's examine the Kanye claim below:
KANYE WEST VS. BARACK OBAMA
| KANYE WEST--Thinking about having a fighter jet flyover at his upcoming wedding | OBAMA--Thinking about sending drones instead. |
ADVANTAGE--Obama
| OBAMA--Killed Osama bin Laden, overthrew Qaddafi, kicked Mitt Romney's ass. | KANYE WEST--Took out Taylor Swift. |
ADVANTAGE--At first glance, Obama, but let's face it--he had Seal Team Six on his side. West went after Taylor Swift alone and unarmed, even though everybody knows those country girls can really throw down. Even.
| MOST OUTLANDISH CLAIM MADE BY KANYE WEST--"I am god." | MOST OUTLANDISH CLAIM MADE BY BARACK OBAMA--"Yes we can." |
ADVANTAGE--No evidence for either. Even.
MOST EGREGIOUS FAILURE BY BOTH MEN:
MOST EGREGIOUS FAILURE BY BOTH MEN:
| OBAMA--Can't offer healthcare because his web site crashes. | KANYE WEST--Can't put on concerts because the truck containing his ultra-giant TV crashed. |
ADVANTAGE--Even, and it goes to show Obamacare wouldn't be doing any better if it was delivered by truck.
THING EACH MAN HAS DONE THAT EVERY BOY DREAMS OF DOING:
THING EACH MAN HAS DONE THAT EVERY BOY DREAMS OF DOING:
| OBAMA--Became President of the United States | KANYE WEST--Screwed Beyonce |
KIM KARDASHIAN VS. MICHELLE OBAMA
| M.OBAMA--Concerned about nourishing all of the children in America | K. Kardashian--Built like she's capable of nourishing all the children in America. |
ADVANTAGE--Kardashian. A clear example of walking the walk instead of merely talking the talk
| K. KARDASHIAN--Contents of clothes closet worth more than most people's houses. | M. OBAMA--Same here |
| K. KARDASHIAN--Lives in splendor and has her face constantly on TV. | M. OBAMA--Ditto |
ADVANTAGES--Even
| K. KARDASHIAN--Has child named after compass point. | M. OBAMA--Nope. |
| K. KARDASHIAN--Instagrams pictures of her ass to the world. | M. OBAMA--Feelings on subject of flashing fanny to globe unknown. |
ADVANTAGES--Kardashian
| M. OBAMA--Graduate of Harvard Law School | K. KARDASHIAN--High school grad. Skipped college to become professional shopper. |
ADVANTAGE--Obama, grudgingly. I mean, what's really better-some musty old degree or having unlimited credit since you were fourteen?
CONCLUSION--West's claim proves surprisingly robust even under this intense scrutiny. What did you expect? He's a god. He's a god. He's a god. Yeesus.
CONCLUSION--West's claim proves surprisingly robust even under this intense scrutiny. What did you expect? He's a god. He's a god. He's a god. Yeesus.
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