Although most American allies are willing to support whoever emerges to challenge Trump, individual nations have their favorites. Denmark, which is still sore about Trump trying to buy Greenland, which he figures will melt enough because of global warming to be suitable for golf courses by the end of his second term, favors Bernie Sanders, because Vermont is one of the closest states to Greenland. Also, he reminds every Dane of their crabby old uncle who doesn’t like anything and won’t stop bitching about it.
The French favor Joe Biden because they figure he has the best chance of beating Trump, whom every French person over the age of ten refers to as le connard de l’abricot (the Apricot Asshole). Biden also reminds French people of one of their uncles, the kindly elderly one who rambles on about how things were better back in the day and hugs all their young nieces just a little too long.
The Germans are behind Elizabeth Warren, because they figure she’s the smartest one and Germans like to consider themselves smart, because they make up and use words like Rechtsschultzversicherungsgesellschaften. The tiny island nation of Malta is 100% Buttigieg territory, because they can pronounce his name first crack at it.
The Canadians are for Klobuchar, because the Minnesota senator, like all residents of their country, really knows what it's like to freeze her ass off. Some Canadians are suspicious that their Prime Minister is not entirely sincere about dumping Trump, because he wants to keep seeing Melania on the side, but they are not sympathetic with his desires. In Quebec they say “Trudeau obtient plus de cul qu'un siège de toilette, de toute façon,” which is “Trudeau gets more ass than a toilet seat, anyway.”
The Mexicans are for Bloomberg because he is richer than all their cartel bosses put together. Also, he is from New York, so if Trump actually builds a wall, Mexico is confident Bloomberg will merely put toll booths in it.
Whoever wins the Dem nomination will get all the help they need, anyway, since all of the above countries have vowed to Interfere Blue No Matter Who. The Danes plan on lobbing buckets of pickled herring at the Republican convention, the French will pump Trump rallies full of smelly cheese gas, the Germans will refuse to sell BMW’s to overprivileged Republican college girls, causing a chorus of spoiled wailing to echo through the land: Daddy, Daddy, what do you MEAN you bought me a Hyundai?
The Mexicans, of course, will station a taco truck at every corner.