Now that this new political era of the Obama presidency being mired in scandal has set in, I called my old buddy, veteran political operative Joe Redstate, to congratulate him, but found him in low spirits.
Joe, I don't see why you're unhappy about Obama's problems being exposed by what you usually call the lamestream media. I would think you'd be jumping for joy.
"Or jumping off a bridge. I don't see how it helps us at all."
Well, you've got ABC on your side for a change. And the Associated Press. Nobody's ignoring this stuff.
"It just shows that when they ignored us when we complained about Obama being a Muslim or that he secretly hated America, or that windmill company going bankrupt in California being his fault, they were right about it being a bunch of cow flop."
Wow, Joe. This lack of faith in the GOP message is not like you. Or most Republicans. Dick Cheney just said Benghazi was the one of the worst things he could remember happening to America ever, even though he's old enough to remember Vietnam, the hostages in Iran and the attack on the Pueblo and was actually Vice-President on September 11, 2001.
"Only Dick Cheney's brave enough to go out on a limb like that and say something only a panel truck full of zoo monkeys would believe. We're not all heroes like Cheney. The fact is, none of those Benghazi emails implicate Obama at all. When we find an email that he fired off from Camp David on the day of the attack saying 'Leave that whiny bastard in Benghazi on hold until I finish my round.' or 'Screw our ambassador under fire. I've got to get par here,' then maybe we'll have him."
At least with Benghazi, you've got something on Hillary now.
"Something we desperately need. Here's a woman who's probably the best-qualified person in the country to be president, plus she'll clean up on the broad vote like Obama did on the black vote and our best bets so far for 2016 are a nasty freshman Senator from Texas who was born in Canada and a guy who belongs to the Hair Club for Men."
Probably you shouldn't call it 'the broad vote,' Joe.
"Right. Thanks. Got to keep reminding myself about that."
Sounds like you're not too optimistic about the IRS scandal bringing down the White House either, Joe. Can't blame you for that. It's pretty unlikely Obama was able to instigate the harassment of those Tea Party groups, since the IRS commissioner at the time was a holdover from the administration of Republican President George Bush.
"Okay, when you're a Republican, there are three things you never say. Number one is 'Global warming is real,' number two is, 'Somebody, somewhere might benefit from Obamacare,' and number three is, 'Republican President George Bush.' Would you like to rephrase that last remark?"
Naw, just go ahead.
"We were real excited about that last scandal when we got a secret video in the mail at GOP headquarters. It showed a black guy in a hoodie talking to a group of IRS workers in Cincinnati. You couldn't see his face, but he was about the same height and weight as Obama and he sounded like him. The guy was saying "Hey, if you've got Tea Party in your name, which means you hate government workers, particularly minority ones, but you're claiming to be a non-profit educational group, why shouldn't we be investigating the crap out of you?"
Wow, that's a bombshell. Why aren't the Republicans broadcasting that all over the country?
"Somebody noticed the return address was the same as the Onion's."
I guess I can see why you're discouraged, Joe. Probably all of this is going to amount to nothing.
"Worse than nothing. The fact that the mainstream media will criticize the White House when the White House actually does something clearly wrong means that Obama hasn't screwed up much. Their real motivation is to make the American people think Republicans are full of crap for claiming Obama's the worst President since Millard Fillmore. When the mainstream media attacks Obama, they're actually attacking us."
That's kind of paranoid, Joe.
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean nobody's out to get you, pal.
Joe, I don't see why you're unhappy about Obama's problems being exposed by what you usually call the lamestream media. I would think you'd be jumping for joy.
"Or jumping off a bridge. I don't see how it helps us at all."
Well, you've got ABC on your side for a change. And the Associated Press. Nobody's ignoring this stuff.
"It just shows that when they ignored us when we complained about Obama being a Muslim or that he secretly hated America, or that windmill company going bankrupt in California being his fault, they were right about it being a bunch of cow flop."
Wow, Joe. This lack of faith in the GOP message is not like you. Or most Republicans. Dick Cheney just said Benghazi was the one of the worst things he could remember happening to America ever, even though he's old enough to remember Vietnam, the hostages in Iran and the attack on the Pueblo and was actually Vice-President on September 11, 2001.
"Only Dick Cheney's brave enough to go out on a limb like that and say something only a panel truck full of zoo monkeys would believe. We're not all heroes like Cheney. The fact is, none of those Benghazi emails implicate Obama at all. When we find an email that he fired off from Camp David on the day of the attack saying 'Leave that whiny bastard in Benghazi on hold until I finish my round.' or 'Screw our ambassador under fire. I've got to get par here,' then maybe we'll have him."
At least with Benghazi, you've got something on Hillary now.
"Something we desperately need. Here's a woman who's probably the best-qualified person in the country to be president, plus she'll clean up on the broad vote like Obama did on the black vote and our best bets so far for 2016 are a nasty freshman Senator from Texas who was born in Canada and a guy who belongs to the Hair Club for Men."
Probably you shouldn't call it 'the broad vote,' Joe.
"Right. Thanks. Got to keep reminding myself about that."
Sounds like you're not too optimistic about the IRS scandal bringing down the White House either, Joe. Can't blame you for that. It's pretty unlikely Obama was able to instigate the harassment of those Tea Party groups, since the IRS commissioner at the time was a holdover from the administration of Republican President George Bush.
"Okay, when you're a Republican, there are three things you never say. Number one is 'Global warming is real,' number two is, 'Somebody, somewhere might benefit from Obamacare,' and number three is, 'Republican President George Bush.' Would you like to rephrase that last remark?"
Naw, just go ahead.
"We were real excited about that last scandal when we got a secret video in the mail at GOP headquarters. It showed a black guy in a hoodie talking to a group of IRS workers in Cincinnati. You couldn't see his face, but he was about the same height and weight as Obama and he sounded like him. The guy was saying "Hey, if you've got Tea Party in your name, which means you hate government workers, particularly minority ones, but you're claiming to be a non-profit educational group, why shouldn't we be investigating the crap out of you?"
Wow, that's a bombshell. Why aren't the Republicans broadcasting that all over the country?
"Somebody noticed the return address was the same as the Onion's."
I guess I can see why you're discouraged, Joe. Probably all of this is going to amount to nothing.
"Worse than nothing. The fact that the mainstream media will criticize the White House when the White House actually does something clearly wrong means that Obama hasn't screwed up much. Their real motivation is to make the American people think Republicans are full of crap for claiming Obama's the worst President since Millard Fillmore. When the mainstream media attacks Obama, they're actually attacking us."
That's kind of paranoid, Joe.
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean nobody's out to get you, pal.
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