In an abrupt tit-for-tat, in response to Florida governor Ron DeSantis sending two planes full of what the Guv called “illegal immigrants,” to the resort town of Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts responded by sending an equal number of Martha’s Vineyard residents to Orlando, Florida.
Local authorities proclaimed themselves overwhelmed. “We can’t accommodate all these people in knit hats wandering around demanding ‘fresh lobstah’ and ‘clam chowdah,’ said one spokesperson, who insisted on anonymity. “I mean, we have eleven Denny’s in Orlando alone. If you want sit-down dining, go into one and crack a menu. And don't be asking where you can buy a scarf for 'when it gets cool at night.' Ask when. And the answer is, December."
Another local complained that he was constantly being asked by people wearing Red Sox jerseys to ‘bring my cah up.’ “Haven’t they heard of Uber?” he said testily. “Another couple asked me if I knew any good Greek tutors for their boy, because they didn’t want him falling behind before he got back to St. Episcopal’s Prep School.” He shook his head wearily. “I mean, we got a couple bilingual guys working as Mickey Mouses at the World, to make the Cuban kids happy. We got Hercules too, but all he ever does is curse about how hot wearing all those foam-padded muscles is in the summertime. And he don’t curse in Greek.
“Send ‘em back where they came from is my solution. I hope DeSantis gets right on that.”
Local authorities proclaimed themselves overwhelmed. “We can’t accommodate all these people in knit hats wandering around demanding ‘fresh lobstah’ and ‘clam chowdah,’ said one spokesperson, who insisted on anonymity. “I mean, we have eleven Denny’s in Orlando alone. If you want sit-down dining, go into one and crack a menu. And don't be asking where you can buy a scarf for 'when it gets cool at night.' Ask when. And the answer is, December."
Another local complained that he was constantly being asked by people wearing Red Sox jerseys to ‘bring my cah up.’ “Haven’t they heard of Uber?” he said testily. “Another couple asked me if I knew any good Greek tutors for their boy, because they didn’t want him falling behind before he got back to St. Episcopal’s Prep School.” He shook his head wearily. “I mean, we got a couple bilingual guys working as Mickey Mouses at the World, to make the Cuban kids happy. We got Hercules too, but all he ever does is curse about how hot wearing all those foam-padded muscles is in the summertime. And he don’t curse in Greek.
“Send ‘em back where they came from is my solution. I hope DeSantis gets right on that.”
RSS Feed
