This was the Salmon Shitbird’s reaction to the conviction of his pal Roger Stone on seven counts of perjury and witness intimidation last week, which Trump attributed to a ‘double standard.’ White House Counselor Kellyanne Conway, whose reputation for exuding truthiness is only second to the President’s, was quick to defend her boss:
“Lying is only language the President is fluent in, for one thing. He is outraged that there are penalties for lying to Democrats. The fact that almost all of the people he mentions in that brilliant Tweet have been examined thoroughly by the proctologist’s finger of justice and not convicted of anything is what outrages him, whereas a fine citizen like Roger Stone tells a couple of harmless fibs to Congress and threatens to kill just one, and only one, small dog and ends up looking at hard time. That just disgusts the President.
“Hillary is the prime example. She has been tried and convicted by Hannity, Limbaugh and Breitbart. Why is she still walking around free to run pedophile rings out of pizza parlors and kill Epstein? Schiff—elected to Congress as a Democrat. Why is that not a crime by itself? Mueller—nobody has ever accused him of lying about anything until the boss just did, which is deeply suspicious on the face of it.
“What needs to be done to fix this double standard? We need to fire all these Deep State FBI agents and prosecutors and set a simple, clean standard for American justice. Once you have been criticized by Fox and Friends twelve times, you ought to be considered convicted, and sentenced to prison for the same number of years as Bill Barr has had ice cream snacks that week.
“And don’t tell me that particular criminal justice reform would only affect Democrats. I hear Mitt Romney’s been channeling John McCain, going around the Senate muttering, “I like Presidents who haven’t been impeached.”
“Lock him up!”
“Lying is only language the President is fluent in, for one thing. He is outraged that there are penalties for lying to Democrats. The fact that almost all of the people he mentions in that brilliant Tweet have been examined thoroughly by the proctologist’s finger of justice and not convicted of anything is what outrages him, whereas a fine citizen like Roger Stone tells a couple of harmless fibs to Congress and threatens to kill just one, and only one, small dog and ends up looking at hard time. That just disgusts the President.
“Hillary is the prime example. She has been tried and convicted by Hannity, Limbaugh and Breitbart. Why is she still walking around free to run pedophile rings out of pizza parlors and kill Epstein? Schiff—elected to Congress as a Democrat. Why is that not a crime by itself? Mueller—nobody has ever accused him of lying about anything until the boss just did, which is deeply suspicious on the face of it.
“What needs to be done to fix this double standard? We need to fire all these Deep State FBI agents and prosecutors and set a simple, clean standard for American justice. Once you have been criticized by Fox and Friends twelve times, you ought to be considered convicted, and sentenced to prison for the same number of years as Bill Barr has had ice cream snacks that week.
“And don’t tell me that particular criminal justice reform would only affect Democrats. I hear Mitt Romney’s been channeling John McCain, going around the Senate muttering, “I like Presidents who haven’t been impeached.”
“Lock him up!”
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