Whether you need to be rescued or shot, the USA's the place to be. If there’s one thing we learned in the last two weeks of August, it’s that there are two things that can still bring this divided nation together.
Unfortunately, they are total eclipses of the sun and 500-year floods, neither of which are likely to happen again anytime soon.
Of course, we know exactly when the next total eclipse will be—those scientist people seem to be right on top of that, in spite of the fact that all of them believe in the hoax of global warming and the lie of evolution. The next one that crosses the US will be in 2024. It will also be right overhead in Mazatlán, Mexico, where my woman and I plan to be to watch it. We watched the last one on TV. Eclipses, like professional football, are probably better on TV, but viewing them in person means you don’t have to listen to the announcers on CNN chortle about them continuously.
Then there was the flood in Texas. CNN was right on top of that as well, so we got an up-close look at the flood, too, because a few years ago my Significant Other purchased an HDTV that is roughly the size of a ping-pong table. We felt like we could crawl into the holes people were punching in their roofs to survive, the coverage was so intimate.
We saw the thousands of boats people launched to rescue strangers from roofs, trees and overpasses. We appreciated the rescuers. We thought, like many of us did, that this represented the real America, not the cartoon America we’ve inhabited since January.
Then the cartoon America showed up, too, in the appearance of armed militia men eager to shoot looters. So, many guys who had both guns and boats had to make the morally ambiguous choice between rescuing strangers and shooting looters.
Most of them ended up in the rescue squad, because there seemed to be way more people who needed rescuing than there were looters, but I am sure there were people who wanted to do both, because most people naturally want to be heroes, and many of them want to be killers, and being a heroic killer is the best thing of all.
If you don’t believe me, you haven’t watched many movies.
Then Trump showed up and proved once again he has no idea how to do anything, unless you count self-absorbed screeching as a thing, and Melania got her fair share of criticism too, because she was filmed wearing stiletto pumps as she dashed off to Texas, shoes that probably cost more than most of the bass boats plucking people from their roofs.
I think that’s unfair. Look at the girl. Does she look like she owns a pair of rubber waders?
Unfortunately, they are total eclipses of the sun and 500-year floods, neither of which are likely to happen again anytime soon.
Of course, we know exactly when the next total eclipse will be—those scientist people seem to be right on top of that, in spite of the fact that all of them believe in the hoax of global warming and the lie of evolution. The next one that crosses the US will be in 2024. It will also be right overhead in Mazatlán, Mexico, where my woman and I plan to be to watch it. We watched the last one on TV. Eclipses, like professional football, are probably better on TV, but viewing them in person means you don’t have to listen to the announcers on CNN chortle about them continuously.
Then there was the flood in Texas. CNN was right on top of that as well, so we got an up-close look at the flood, too, because a few years ago my Significant Other purchased an HDTV that is roughly the size of a ping-pong table. We felt like we could crawl into the holes people were punching in their roofs to survive, the coverage was so intimate.
We saw the thousands of boats people launched to rescue strangers from roofs, trees and overpasses. We appreciated the rescuers. We thought, like many of us did, that this represented the real America, not the cartoon America we’ve inhabited since January.
Then the cartoon America showed up, too, in the appearance of armed militia men eager to shoot looters. So, many guys who had both guns and boats had to make the morally ambiguous choice between rescuing strangers and shooting looters.
Most of them ended up in the rescue squad, because there seemed to be way more people who needed rescuing than there were looters, but I am sure there were people who wanted to do both, because most people naturally want to be heroes, and many of them want to be killers, and being a heroic killer is the best thing of all.
If you don’t believe me, you haven’t watched many movies.
Then Trump showed up and proved once again he has no idea how to do anything, unless you count self-absorbed screeching as a thing, and Melania got her fair share of criticism too, because she was filmed wearing stiletto pumps as she dashed off to Texas, shoes that probably cost more than most of the bass boats plucking people from their roofs.
I think that’s unfair. Look at the girl. Does she look like she owns a pair of rubber waders?
RSS Feed
