This coveted spot, traditionally given to the woman least likely to have sex with a Sports Illustrated reader, was instead filled by three lesser-known supermodels.
Ms. Upton's job loss contributed to the current sky-high unemployment rate among millennials. She has reportedly been denied re-hiring as a public cheeseburger consumer for the Carl's Junior restaurant chain.
"Carl's, like Sports Illustrated, needs to move on from the Upton era," a spokesman for the chain said. "However, many of our individual restaurants are hiring. Entry-level positions pay from six to eight-fifty an hour, depending on the local minimum wage. We Would be happy to review Kate's application," he added.